Times get tough.

Luriden · Post by **Luriden** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:59 pm

Sorry about making this thread. I didn't even know where to put it, I just need to get some stuff off my chest. I don't have anyone to talk to.

My dad died this morning. Last night, he woke up from sleeping all day but his eyes were wide open like he was scared, he was breathing heavily, grunting like he wanted to say something but he couldn't, and he was grabbing his blanket and twisting it. Mom stood in front of him trying to talk to him but he just looked right past her, as if he were blind. Mom force fed him an anxiety pill, and we just stuck together until he went to sleep.

We stayed up until around 4:00 AM keeping an eye on him. Mom slept in the living room and told me to go to sleep (easier said than done). I finally get to sleep at 5:30, then wake up at 7:30 to my mother crying telling me he was dead. I basically held on to her for the morning until the Hospice people took her away.

I'm just glad he went in his sleep. It sounds mean and slightly sadistic, but I'm glad he's gone now. Last night, he was a vegetable, and seeing him like that was the scariest and most depressing thing I've ever seen. I knew he wasn't going to get better, and if he continued on then he would just get worse (if it COULD get any worse). We were both afraid that he would wake up in the middle of the night choking to death or something, I'm glad he went out the same way he went to sleep 6 hours before.

I'm not begging for attention (or hope I'm not), sympathy, or even replies at all. I basically just wanted to get all of this off my chest like I said before. I even posted a blog of it on my MySpace, as well as a bulletin (most of my MySpace friends though I know in person and there there helping me along the way). I'm not really sure what's going to happen after this, me and Mom kinda want to move back to Topeka, KS where all her family is. She feels alone down here in Texas, since she doesn't know anyone and Dad was her only friend. Roadrunner might get shut off in a day or so since Dad's company has been paying for it. If it does, then I'll try and come back whenever I can.

Thanks for reading. Just seeing the view count will help me feel better, I think. It feels nice just letting this aggression out, even if it's on a video game website like this.

bizzle · Post by **bizzle** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:08 pm

Good luck, man. Best wishes to your family. I guess you were right when you knew it was coming..

Null isn't really the place for this, though.

Thomas · Post by **Thomas** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:12 pm

Sorry for your loss man. Good luck on your future endevours.

Joestar · Post by **Joestar** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:27 pm

Sorry to hear about that man, wish you and your family the best.

Caboose · Post by **Caboose** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:32 pm

Sorry to hear that. I also wish you and your family the best.

DCFan2004 · Post by **DCFan2004** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 5:44 pm

Very sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you and your family the best on whatever you decide.

AuroEdge · Post by **AuroEdge** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:50 pm

I know how you feel Kenichi. I don't know what your dad was sick with, but my mom pretty much went the same way (in her sleep). Try to be there for your mother b/c I'm sure she'll be having an even tougher time with your father's death more than anybody else.

Post by **|darc|** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 9:46 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that. My hardships don't compare to yours. I still have my family.

Luriden · Post by **Luriden** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 11:26 pm

Thanks everyone, it means a lot to me. I didn't know what kind of reception this thread would get, if any at all, that's why I made it in Null. It also means a lot to have |darc| posting here. Actually, the whole time Dad was dying and the NO scene was going on, I was always thinking to myself "well, at least we're not losing our homes and family members". I always thought it was vice versa to what you said, |darc|. Of course, I'm sure there are people from Louisiana that have it worse than both of us. God, there's so much drama in this world right now, everything is crazy.

Another crazy thing is that Dad passed away today, and today is the 25th anniversary of when my parents started dating. When he woke up for the last time before going back to sleep for the night (and his life), it was midnight, which is also spooky. Of course, at that time dad was a vegetable, so Mom couldn't really communicate with him or anything, but the last time we had him awake was at midnight last night. And it's also weird how when Mom woke up this morning to check on Dad, she says she thinks he went soon before she checked. His chest wasn't moving, he had no pulse, but he was still warm. She feels like maybe theres a spiritual bonding that kind of alerted her. If you believe in that kind of stuff (sometimes it's hard NOT to), it's actually comforting.

Once again, thanks everyone.

Pablo · Post by **Pablo** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:04 am

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family; and as sad as it was for him to die in his sleep, at least he went peacefully.

Take care of your mother.

ETR · Post by **ETR** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:33 am

AgentGreen · Post by **AgentGreen** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:52 am

I sympathize, Kenichi. An uncle that was quite close to my part of the family died of cancer last summer and went in a similar way. And it's not sadistic to feel a sense of relief after someone who has had a long battle with a terminal illness dies. It's very normal to feel that. The family doesn't have to worry about keeping the person alive anymore and, most of all, the person with the illness is no longer struggling and has found peace in death.

MetalGearRay · Post by **MetalGearRay** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:59 am

It must be hard, I cannot even comprehend what you must be feeling. A friend of mine went through similar events with her dad. I really hope you guys are ok. My deepest sympathies.

WhtCastle · Post by **WhtCastle** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:39 am

What I said on Myspace is really all I can say. Stay strong man...

MulletMan13 · Post by **MulletMan13** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:53 am

I wish you the best, you'll pull through in this hard time. Stay close to your mother, and I'm sorry for your loss.

not just souLLy now · Post by **not just souLLy now** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:45 pm

i hope everything works out man, glad to hear the suffering is over at least.

Dreamcast4life · Post by **Dreamcast4life** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:54 pm

I am really sorry to hear about your fathers passing, you seem to be handling it well then most people I would know. I have a suggestion to give your mom love and comfort, your all she has now. I know I will probably Lose my sanity when my parents pass, Hell my father doesn't even care to contact me!

Anyways I am sounding really selfish...Forgive me. My thoughts are with you and your family and just know that your father is in a better place now. May god be with you and your family.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:50 pm

That's tough. Hope things get better, really do. Good luck, I'm sure you'll make it through.