How it feels to get completely ripped off...

[Luriden]

...it sucks. I've been bitching about this a lot in IRC the past few days, but I'm getting more frustrated per day with it and thought I'd bring it here for discussion.

I thought I trusted my cousin, though he has stolen shit from me growing up and he's been a little shady at times (I think he's gone to court a few times for stealing, and jail once I think though it was brief). I didn't trust him when I first moved here, but we got close, and I considered him to be more of a best friend than anything. He took me to Family Values Tour and we just like to hang out a lot.

He saw my PSP I bought from melancholy and liked it. He bought an Xbox from me before for $75 and paid it off, so I trusted him enough to sell it to him . I sold him the PSP and accessories, 4gb Sandisk pro duo, and all the games for $350 (which is nice seeing as how I got 3/4 of those games free anyway from Sony's RLS, giving me at least a $50 profit), and he also wanted to buy my Xbox Action Replay and Splinter Cell, so he was to owe me $380. He said he'd pay me in increments until the 23rd since he was to get his stafford then and he'd pay all the rest.

Well, he got his Stafford early. He came by one night to hang out and said he'd bring $200 of it the next day at 7:30 PM. I trusted him so much that I even bought some crap online knowing he would come through. He didn't. He spent all his money on a 360, laptop, and some other crap. He came by the other night because he wanted to use my wireless connection to download crap to his laptop. I asked him about the money, he said "soon", and left shortly after. I checked my bank account, and realized I was about to be overdrawn from some stuff I ordered, so I called him back shortly after he left to ask if he'd have about $60 this week sometime. He answered and said he was busy and he'd call back in a few minutes, and I didn't even get my question in. He didn't. I called him back 15 minutes later, no answer. I call back an hour later, no answer, and I get pissed and leave a message on his voicemail saying "Hey, thanks for returning my call, and answering the phone. First you spend my PSP money, now you're ignoring me. I really appreciate it, later." I got a call back five seconds later, but I was too pissed to answer it.

Now, four days later, he's not answering his phone. I've called him once a day except on Tuesday, and he's not answering, I'm freaking out now because I'm about to be overdrawn and he's not answering the phone while owing me $380. While he's my cousin, not a total stranger, I have a feeling I'll never see that money. Luckily I have Lost Planet Collector's Edition I haven't opened yet, I'm taking that back tomorrow to Best Buy for a refund just so I can get some moola in my bank account until I get hired for a job (I'm applying for jobs right now), or until he actually comes through.

He also has my Need For Speed: Most Wanted game for Xbox 360, though I'm not worried about it. I just can't get over how whenever I think I have a close friend, it turns out to be a backstabber who just uses me. He would come over all the time, and "hang out", though it usually just led to me burning CDs. I'd profit from it sometimes, but most of the time no. He owed me big time before I even sold him the PSP. I was stupid to give him the PSP before paying, but he was supposed to pay the first increment a few days after but got the Stafford early instead, and I've already gone over that part. So now not only am I PSP-less, $380 short, and near-overdrawn in my bank account, I'm actually kinda hurt that my only friend here in Topeka just completely abandoned me. I'm still hoping he'll have some good excuse as to all the shit that has happened and we can go catch a concert or something, but I doubt that anymore.

I'm also close to my uncle/his dad, but he's one of those people who believes his children can do no wrong. If I pointed blame, he would just think less of me and shrug it off, since he thinks the world is against his son or some shit when really he brings it on himself.

I know, this is totally an emo blog entry, but I gotta vent somewhere and I see lots of blog-worthy threads here in OT every now and then. Also, I notice that whenever I post about a problem here, it always fixes itself soon after and I'm left posting "ok, nevermind, problem solved, lock this plzkthxbai." and hopefully the same will happen this time.

melancholy, rest assure that your PSP is probably getting pawned somewhere right now for weed money.

[SkillsTakinPills]

wtf? If he's your relative, just go to his house. If he's not there, ask to wait for him. They'll probably say go to his room or sure and you can roam around. Grab the 360 and laptop and call it even. Simple as that. If someone confronts you about it, just deny it and be ready to fight in case denying it pisses them off.

And you can trust people just never when it comes to money. I remember a few years ago I learned this. Dude, was suppose to get me 200 pilz for like $200, I threw in $150 and a friend of mine threw in $50. This guy's connect supposedly took the money and ran. And the guy we thought we could trust moved to Detroit. well, from then on, it was face-to-face exchanges only.

[Veggita2099]

I had a similar problem out of my friend once. I had sold him a computer for like $100. At the time he was working like 10 hours a week for minimum wage but he also had absolutely no bills at all. In any case I told him to just pay me off as he got money.

Soon enough weeks turned into months and he wasn't saying anything. Id mention it every so often and he would get offended. However every time I mentioned it I seen he had quit abit of money and was spending it on anything and everything. I wouldn't have said much if he had paid me a few dollars here and there but I wasn't getting nothing. Finally ended up getting the computer back about 2 months later and he wouldn't talk to me for a long time after that. I turned around and sold it to somebody else for twice as much.

Granted he wasn't trying to rip me off, it proves a point. ITs really bad to do these type of deals with family. I do have a uncle who is just like your cousin though (well he doesn't do drugs, but he don't like to pay for stuff). I only lost $5 to him over a old keyboard, but other family members have lost a lot more. He pretty much does like my friend did only he won't give the stuff back. He tells you he will pay you friday then you don't hear from him. Once again when you ask him he gets offended and acts like you shouldn't bug him about it.

Im a firm believer now not to deal with family and friends, especially in the loaning or expecting payment area. Only way I will sell something with family is if I get all of the money at once.

Anyways sorry to hear about that. I know whats its like to get ripped off though.

[DaMadFiddler]

wtf? If he's your relative, just go to his house. If he's not there, ask to wait for him. They'll probably say go to his room or sure and you can roam around. Grab the 360 and laptop and call it even. Simple as that. If someone confronts you about it, just deny it and be ready to fight in case denying it pisses them off.

And you can trust people just never when it comes to money. I remember a few years ago I learned this. Dude, was suppose to get me 200 pilz for like $200, I threw in $150 and a friend of mine threw in $50. This guy's connect supposedly took the money and ran. And the guy we thought we could trust moved to Detroit. well, from then on, it was face-to-face exchanges only.

Yeah, that's the way to make it better...find the lowest common denominator

And I'm going to pretend I didn't see that second paragraph.



Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?

[Christuserloeser]

Explain him that you need(ed) the 60 bucks because you are/were overdrawn. Maybe he thinks that you're after him for the fun of it... ?

[cyberinsekt]

[quote="DaMadFiddler"]
Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?[/quote]

I am not he but the DC scene was really thriving back in 2000/2001 with something new and amazing almost every month. I joined only a few months after this website first started in the late 1990's but there was some kind of forum crash which meant everyone had to create new profiles and join the message board again in 2001.

I am now another occasional visitor (about 2 or 3 times a year) and nothing much seems to have happened in a long time on the DC.

[Luriden]

Explain him that you need(ed) the 60 bucks because you are/were overdrawn. Maybe he thinks that you're after him for the fun of it... ?

I left him a voicemail yesterday explaining that. He either didn't listen to it or still wants to ignore me. I basically apoligized for the bitchy voicemail I left on Monday and told him I'm not mad and I don't need all the money asap, I just needed to know if he could get me the money by this week and if not, that's okay, but I needed to know before I exchanged it. It was a friendly voicemail I thought. I don't know what he's going to accomplish by avoiding me since he's my cousin and he won't leave town because he's so close to his parents (split up) and his sister. Oh yeah, he doesn't have a car either, he has to get rides from friends and his (just recently ex-)girlfriend. He can't get very far, that's why I'm shocked he would do something like this, especially since he acted so sympathetic towards me about the loss of my dad and sister. If he was some guy I knew from that one place on that one street, sure I could see him easily avoiding me and never seeing me again, but this guy is my cousin and he's basically immobile. Only problem is he's with his friends almost all day everyday, so he's never home and he does have easy means of transportation.

[Roofus]

Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?

Check his post history. He hadn't posted since 2002. According to his IP page, he doesn't have any other accounts.

Kenichi, You could probably take him to small claims court, but if you didn't get anything in writing you'll have a hard time proving the PSP wasn't a gift. Failing that, you could kick his ass.

Also (and I don't really want to get too preachy here) you kinda had it coming. If my cousin had the track record this guy has, I'd be very wary doing any kind of business with him. And if I did, I'd get everything in writing. Contracts, receipts, everything. That way, if he did what he's done to you, I'd have proof.

[melancholy]

Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?

I would assume his old alias was SkillsMakinMills.

[Sir Slash]

man like they said its a relative... go to his house and take care of it

its better then having your car broken into and having $1000.00 worth of stuff stolen from your car, and about $2000.00 worth of damage

[SkillsTakinPills]

Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?

I would assume his old alias was SkillsMakinMills.

Yeah, but for some reason that ID is banned. I was spittin that real knowledge to Nyar one day and he called me "SkillsTakinPills", and I kinda thought it was funny. Then that name got banned, so I created another account and lived on for awhile then SkillsMakinMills got unbanned, then rebanned. repeat cycle..

[SkillsTakinPills]

Anyway, who are you? It says you registered way back in '01, but I don't remember seeing any posts of yours until this week. I've been here for 3 years, and I lurked for about 18 months before that. Do you have an alternate profile I'd be more familiar with?

I am not he but the DC scene was really thriving back in 2000/2001 with something new and amazing almost every month. I joined only a few months after this website first started in the late 1990's but there was some kind of forum crash which meant everyone had to create new profiles and join the message board again in 2001.

I am now another occasional visitor (about 2 or 3 times a year) and nothing much seems to have happened in a long time on the DC.

Do you remember a guy called Byrd? I swear that is the funniest person I have ever seen post on a message board in my life. But after a while they banned him, but he came back as like Byrd+ then Byrd- I think, but after that he just left. The good always get banned with low post counts.

[Luriden]

I called him one more time tonight. Basically just trying to give him a guilt trip, saying it was low for him to not answer the phone after I answered the phone everytime he called and burned him every CD he wanted for free just to be nice. I told him again that I'm not mad and I don't care if it takes a month before I see it, I just want him to call me and not leave me in the dark and let me know what's going on. Still no call back two hours later.

I don't know, I'm almost starting to think there's something wrong with his phone. I know him, whenever I accuse him of doing something he goes out of his way to prove me wrong. It doesn't seem like he would rip me off. He has a bad record, but two and two aren't mixing here. Either that or his phone is fine, then he'll call me when he needs some DVDs burned, maybe give me part or all of my money, and say "oh, you called? Yeah, my phone was messed up, I got it fixed now."

I don't even care if that's the case though. I'm pretty hurt by this whole situation more than my wallet is. I can't believe he would take advantage of me like that. He would rent 10 DVDs at a time and have me burn them all for him for free. Granted he would buy the DVD-Rs, it was still my time I was wasting and I was being courteous. He also called me when my sister passed and gave me sympathy and said I could come over and hang out anytime I wanted, and last week he asked me how my nieces were and how I was coping with it all. Most thieves don't do that. Unless this was a spur-of-the-moment thing he decided to pull. My mom is the one that keeps telling me I'm pretty much fucked, but she doesn't know him as well as I do, she only knows him as the guy that stole Diddy Kong Racing and Smash Bros. from me eight or nine years ago when we barely knew each other, we lived two states apart and saw each other for about an hour every two or three years. Now we're hanging out every other day, even when he just wants shit, it's usually more than just him coming to pick crap up and leave, we go out and do stuff. Maybe I'm letting my mom get the best of me, even though she's just trying to watch out for me.

[SkillsTakinPills]

I called him one more time tonight. Basically just trying to give him a guilt trip, saying it was low for him to not answer the phone after I answered the phone everytime he called and burned him every CD he wanted for free just to be nice. I told him again that I'm not mad and I don't care if it takes a month before I see it, I just want him to call me and not leave me in the dark and let me know what's going on. Still no call back two hours later.

That's a big mistake. When asking for help, you have to appeal to people's self-interest and never to their mercy and gratitude. They will always find ways to ignore you. Instead you must reveal something in your request that will benefit him and you must blow it out of proportion. He will respond if he can gain something himself.

That's real talk. And in your situation, I can only see two routes.

1 - Threaten to harm him and blow it out of proportion. He will respond

2 - Somehow get him to bring the 360 or laptop. Tell him how you can do something on his laptop that will benefit him or use a software mod on his 360 and make it sound great. then have one of your friends take it from him when he gets there.

I know this all seems brutal and unethical/immoral, but what do you think stealing your PSP and some games is? You can either let him have it or take it from him. There's zero chance you'll guilt trip him out of it though.

[zero]

Ha i got it.
Kinda like SkillsTakinPills said, tell him you can mod his 360 for him and let him bring it over.

Then pretend to mess around with it and tell him you have done something with it.
That if he doesn't have you're money or start paying you by a fixed date his 360 will stop working and turn into a brick, but if he pays you you will fix it .

And also tell him that when it stops working he wont be able to return it to the shop cos they will know it was modded .

A bit harsh i know but his pretty much being the same way with you.

[APE]

Threaten to call the cops. He has basically blown you off and has refused to pay you so you have right to either reclaim your property, get paid for it and reclaim something of equal or greater value. I suggest the laptop.

[zero]

Threaten to call the cops. He has basically blown you off and has refused to pay you so you have right to either reclaim your property, get paid for it and reclaim something of equal or greater value. I suggest the laptop.

Exactly, if he keeps thinking your being soft about it he is gonna keep thinking he can get away with it.

You have to let him know you're going to put your foot down and take charge .

[Matisfaction]

Threaten to call the cops. He has basically blown you off and has refused to pay you so you have right to either reclaim your property, get paid for it and reclaim something of equal or greater value. I suggest the laptop.

Exactly, if he keeps thinking your being soft about it he is gonna keep thinking he can get away with it.

You have to let him know you're going to put your foot down and take charge .

Unless you have some kind of proof of purchase or proof that you sold him the stuff, all the police will do is try and get the two parties to sort it out between themselves. Although this is the US and things could be different over there.

This cousin sounds like a bit of a flange, either talk to his parents (worth a try) forcing him to give you your stuff back or go round there and have it out with the guy and stand your ground until you get somekind of result.

[az_bont]

Unless you're using the threat of the police as a scare tactic, realisticly I'd imagine you'll need to have some kind of proof of purchase or proof that you sold him the stuff, without any of that all the police will do is try and get the two parties to sort it out between them other wise. Although this is the US and things could be different over there.

If he willingly handed over the goods to his cousin with the expectation of payment at a later date, that would likely not be theft, but a breach of contract, and therefore not a matter for the police.

[Luriden]

Geez guys, I'm not wanting to take legal action, beat him up, or steal something of his. It's not THAT severe yet. If a month goes by still like this, then I can take action. Right now I myself have no proof that it isn't just a communication issue, or that he's gonna have the money next week and just stopped answering the phone because he's tired of hearing me bitch until then. He's my cousin, I'll always know him and he's not leaving the city or anything, and I see his ex-girlfriend (who he's still pretty close with) at school, so he can't hide from me forever. If nothing else, I can call his ex-girlfriend and get his class schedule, since he also goes to the same school I do except on weekends, and I can meet him outside of one of his classes and confront him about it. What can he do then, run away?