The Best Damn OT Thread (Advice Thread)

ninja · Post by **ninja** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 3:51 am

ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:
WhtCastle wrote:I keep being a complete moron, what should I do?
Failing that you can go back to page 1 and find the lengthy instructions on seppuku...

yes, i shalt agree, follow that guide, it will solve all your problems. As a matter of fact, someone should make the guide a sticky, edit it a bit, and turn it into "The Official N64 Emu" thread...

Sanchez · Post by **Sanchez** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:38 am

I'm having issues dealing with the horrors of the world...

- Wars
- Genocide
- Starvation

But more pressingly,

- The fact that Tony Danza will have his own talk show...

How can I resolve these evils in my mind?

perry · Post by **perry** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 12:08 pm

Sanchez wrote:I'm having issues dealing with the horrors of the world...

- Wars
- Genocide
- Starvation

But more pressingly,

- The fact that Tony Danza will have his own talk show...

How can I resolve these evils in my mind?

Doom 3. It'll either help, or make it 100x worse.

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:49 pm

Sanchez wrote:I'm having issues dealing with the horrors of the world...

- Wars
- Genocide
- Starvation

But more pressingly,

- The fact that Tony Danza will have his own talk show...

How can I resolve these evils in my mind?

Once again you honor me by seeking my humble advivce great Sanchez...now in response to your concerns..

The first 3 issues you are concerned with are totally natural. Wars genocide and starvation are as acts of nature upon the blight to man known as the "DC N64 Emu requester" it only serves to weed out those not smart enough to duck when they hear gunfire, however the last of your concerns is a grave issue that should be addressed as Tony Danza is the ultimate symbol of evil incarnate and giving him a televised forum to spread the evil upon mankind is a wrong the likes of none ever seen. My advice is to smash your television with a large sledgehammer, then pull the cord out of the wall (not exactly in that order) then cut said cord to ensure you will not be directly exposed (accidentially or otherwise) to the horrors of the danza. Next you should invite yourself over to the homes of all your neighbors and do the same to save them from the fate you have just freed yourself from and potentially save yourself accidential exposure to said horrors in the event you may be visiting their domicile at some time during the horror hour.

Remember ..the life you save might be your own!

The only benefit of this show is that now the mindless peons will realize the gravity of the "Danza- Slap" and fear its wrath.

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:50 pm

perry wrote:
Sanchez wrote:I'm having issues dealing with the horrors of the world...

- Wars
- Genocide
- Starvation

But more pressingly,

- The fact that Tony Danza will have his own talk show...

How can I resolve these evils in my mind?
Doom 3. It'll either help, or make it 100x worse.

Your sadly mistaken ...The horrors depicted in Doom 3 will be tame in comparison to the depravity of what I now dub ..The Danza Hour (aka the hour of horrors). There is no remedy to the ills it will cause.

*drags perry to the meatwagon with rusty fish hooks for his misconception that the danza show is a timid light hearted view on life from the wacky character of Tony from "Who's the boss"

Thomas · Post by **Thomas** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:14 am

Should I heed to the advice of my peers and quit chewing, or continue to do something I like and get mouth cancer and have my jaw removed, or better yet die?

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:40 am

Inu_Sess__ wrote:Should I heed to the advice of my peers and quit chewing, or continue to do something I like and get mouth cancer and have my jaw removed, or better yet die?

Dont give in to the peer pressure. Sigmund Freud's friends and associates attempted to tell him how unhealthy they thought it was and he did the right thing, he told them they were secretly harboring the desires for their own mothers. Yes ..he called them a bunch of moth3rfuckers and when his jaw was removed when he contracted mouth cancer he didnt care. He knew all along but the fact that they wanted to dissuade him from something he would otherwise have done on his own just reinforced the fact that he had to show those sonsofbitches who's in charge!

Your two options are

A) call them a gang of motherfuck3rs as freud would have and have your
jaw removed when you contract cancer to show those bastards who's in charge

B) Quit chewing ...but continue to spit ..in their faces everytime you see them for trying to peer pressure you into making decisions based on their own value system

C) Move to the caymans and start a bar where you serve tourists and amuse them with your amusing acrobatics while pouring the liquer that helps them forget their troubles everyday.

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:28 am

Just to signify the horror of the Danza ....i have a temporary Danza-slap image to remind all the peons and elephant-men huddled over the keyboard absorbing the light of the monitor like a plant to stay in line

djray · Post by **djray** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:16 pm

Mr. Orange or Mr. Pink?

perry · Post by **perry** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 7:14 pm

ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:
perry wrote:
Sanchez wrote:I'm having issues dealing with the horrors of the world...

- Wars
- Genocide
- Starvation

But more pressingly,

- The fact that Tony Danza will have his own talk show...

How can I resolve these evils in my mind?
Doom 3. It'll either help, or make it 100x worse.
Your sadly mistaken ...The horrors depicted in Doom 3 will be tame in comparison to the depravity of what I now dub ..The Danza Hour (aka the hour of horrors). There is no remedy to the ills it will cause.

*drags perry to the meatwagon with rusty fish hooks for his misconception that the danza show is a timid light hearted view on life from the wacky character of Tony from "Who's the boss"

/me wriggles as he slowly starts to realize exactly what he's in for..

djray · Post by **djray** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:34 pm

one other question: what does piss taste like?

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:37 pm

djray wrote:one other question: what does piss taste like? :P

In regards to your first query ...Mister Pink ..if you cant understand why "hear that? Thats the sound of the worlds tiniest violin playing for the waitress" is the standard by which we measure all sarcasm and cynicism then you should kill yourself now. Go ahead Ill have Ace get someone to clean up the remains later....

In regards to your second query. I dont know ...I suggest next time your at the mens room urinal eyeballing the equipment of your fellow man (as you obviously must be doing to even be pondering this), request a sample of the goods and tread down that path which will lead you to 24 hour reruns of queer eye for the straight guy (read: Queer Eye for the closet homo/metrosexual) and the style network.

All I can say Is I hope answering your own question is worth watching lifetime tv and tucking it in..... because only an absolute dullard would ask such a dumbshit question without first scraping a razorblade across his chest to see if his nipples are actually buttons from his coat that got stuck last winter and spends his time making iced tea using powdered mix and toilet water.

Next time you trip over the keyboard try not to also turn on the computer and decide to start asking the questions you would ask your sister if she werent also your mother mmmkay?

In addition to that dont forget to snag your copy of "liza minelli sings phantom of the opera" as im sure you'll need it while you attend your anal-anonymous club (no its not really anonymous and we all know where you live and your dirty little secret you salami thief) to pass the time.

Have a nice day :)

Oh ..and click here

djray · Post by **djray** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:16 pm

ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:
djray wrote:one other question: what does piss taste like?
In regards to your first query ...Mister Pink ..if you cant understand why "hear that? Thats the sound of the worlds tiniest violin playing for the waitress" is the standard by which we measure all sarcasm and cynicism then you should kill yourself now. Go ahead Ill have Ace get someone to clean up the remains later....

In regards to your second query. I dont know ...I suggest next time your at the mens room urinal eyeballing the equipment of your fellow man (as you obviously must be doing to even be pondering this), request a sample of the goods and tread down that path which will lead you to 24 hour reruns of queer eye for the straight guy (read: Queer Eye for the closet homo/metrosexual) and the style network.

i didn't pick mr. pink... you did! lol... and if u did understand the question... it was asking you which character was better in the movie resevoir dogs.

and as for my curiousity in piss... the day i made that post, i took a long leak and then the thought came to me! you obviously think more about "eyeballing" then me since you brought it up!

perry · Post by **perry** » Thu Jul 22, 2004 8:39 pm

djray wrote:
ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:
djray wrote:one other question: what does piss taste like?
In regards to your first query ...Mister Pink ..if you cant understand why "hear that? Thats the sound of the worlds tiniest violin playing for the waitress" is the standard by which we measure all sarcasm and cynicism then you should kill yourself now. Go ahead Ill have Ace get someone to clean up the remains later....

In regards to your second query. I dont know ...I suggest next time your at the mens room urinal eyeballing the equipment of your fellow man (as you obviously must be doing to even be pondering this), request a sample of the goods and tread down that path which will lead you to 24 hour reruns of queer eye for the straight guy (read: Queer Eye for the closet homo/metrosexual) and the style network.
i didn't pick mr. pink... you did! lol... and if u did understand the question... it was asking you which character was better in the movie resevoir dogs.

and as for my curiousity in piss... the day i made that post, i took a long leak and then the thought came to me! you obviously think more about "eyeballing" then me since you brought it up!

Man, you just don't get it..

ag3nt_0rang3 · Post by **ag3nt_0rang3** » Fri Jul 23, 2004 11:07 pm

djray wrote:
ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:
djray wrote:one other question: what does piss taste like? :P
In regards to your first query ...Mister Pink ..if you cant understand why "hear that? Thats the sound of the worlds tiniest violin playing for the waitress" is the standard by which we measure all sarcasm and cynicism then you should kill yourself now. Go ahead Ill have Ace get someone to clean up the remains later....

In regards to your second query. I dont know ...I suggest next time your at the mens room urinal eyeballing the equipment of your fellow man (as you obviously must be doing to even be pondering this), request a sample of the goods and tread down that path which will lead you to 24 hour reruns of queer eye for the straight guy (read: Queer Eye for the closet homo/metrosexual) and the style network.
i didn't pick mr. pink... you did! lol... and if u did understand the question... it was asking you which character was better in the movie resevoir dogs.

and as for my curiousity in piss... the day i made that post, i took a long leak and then the thought came to me! you obviously think more about "eyeballing" then me since you brought it up! :twisted:

It would appear all you have managed to do is prove so far is that you can reach your own cock(a-doodle-doo in case any parents are derelict in their duties to keeping the little tykes out of this thread) ..in addition to that you have proven yourself to be far more proficient in soaking the front of your shirt in drool than I initially Imagined you capable of doing.

Do us all a favor and test your theory on urine :p

If it makes you feel any better i can pull a quote on this "Did you know urine is sterile? You can drink it!"

The Best Damn OT Thread (Advice Thread)

The Danza SLap