The Best Damn OT Thread (Advice Thread)
- ag3nt_0rang3
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- https://www.artistsworkshop.eu/meble-kuchenne-na-wymiar-warszawa-gdzie-zamowic/
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EvilN:
My sincere apologies for overlooking your question.
My personal instincts tell me to suggest you try 20cc's of potassium chloride or a mixture of equal parts of bleach and ammonia in large open container such as a bucket or something of the sort (putting that duct tape bush told you to buy to good use by taping the doors and windows to your room so as not to affect any innocent bystanders) and Im fairly certain that many would agree with me on this once they bother to find out what that all meant; however since ive agree'd to take this advice column/thread seriously:
A quote
Phosphine gas from aluminium phosphide pesticide
Ingesting 3 grams is enough to kill 10 people
After severe vomiting, the
victim loses consciousness, the blood vessels rupture, and body
cavities fill with blood. While the pill is exceedingly lethal, some
escape death because the rate of the gas' release declines with the
pill's age and use, and exposure to moisture.
enquote
Now ..if your really more concerned with living than losing weight you might want to try heavy ingestion of laxitives. This will give you a proven method to purge faster than you can ingest ...just make sure you have one with your hourly cheeseburger and you should be fine. Ignore the loose skin that will plague you as a result of abusing the pills as anyone who comments on the fact that you could make an envelope out of your breasts and mail yourself is obviously jealous of your new trim figure.
My sincere apologies for overlooking your question.
My personal instincts tell me to suggest you try 20cc's of potassium chloride or a mixture of equal parts of bleach and ammonia in large open container such as a bucket or something of the sort (putting that duct tape bush told you to buy to good use by taping the doors and windows to your room so as not to affect any innocent bystanders) and Im fairly certain that many would agree with me on this once they bother to find out what that all meant; however since ive agree'd to take this advice column/thread seriously:
A quote
Phosphine gas from aluminium phosphide pesticide
Ingesting 3 grams is enough to kill 10 people
After severe vomiting, the
victim loses consciousness, the blood vessels rupture, and body
cavities fill with blood. While the pill is exceedingly lethal, some
escape death because the rate of the gas' release declines with the
pill's age and use, and exposure to moisture.
enquote
Now ..if your really more concerned with living than losing weight you might want to try heavy ingestion of laxitives. This will give you a proven method to purge faster than you can ingest ...just make sure you have one with your hourly cheeseburger and you should be fine. Ignore the loose skin that will plague you as a result of abusing the pills as anyone who comments on the fact that you could make an envelope out of your breasts and mail yourself is obviously jealous of your new trim figure.
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
~Twisted Quotes
- ag3nt_0rang3
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Stop being a puss ...call the cops and let them know where you are and what you did. Explain in graphic detail why he deserved it and how you intend to do it again to all your neighbors. Make a big show about being willing to turn yourself in as long as they send a few squad cars to pick you up. Then ..when they knock on the door make sure you have a knife in each hand ..and it wouldnt hurt to wipe the blood all over your face for emphasis of your guilt. When you see them with their guns drawn leap at them while shouting profanities.
Dont worry, it'll all work out fine when they realize you only killed your pet dog in the midsts of a sexual act ...that is ..if the bullets dont hit any vital points.
Dont worry, it'll all work out fine when they realize you only killed your pet dog in the midsts of a sexual act ...that is ..if the bullets dont hit any vital points.
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
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- ag3nt_0rang3
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Calavera:
No ...no you dont want to do that ..because you've seen what she looks like and she most likely has no end of people who have already discovered the joys of dianobol who would gladly ruin your 5hit at her merest nod.
If you intend to win her affections you should start a website full of fan art and psychotic rants about why she should fall at your feet and worship you for the 1337 master of the opposite sex you are. Go into many rants at length about fantasies you've had of her and how you are her number 1 fan, but under no circumstances should you stalk her or ever allow yourself to be within 50 feet of her wherever she is. She would consider this distasteful and you would blow your chance forever.
No ...no you dont want to do that ..because you've seen what she looks like and she most likely has no end of people who have already discovered the joys of dianobol who would gladly ruin your 5hit at her merest nod.
If you intend to win her affections you should start a website full of fan art and psychotic rants about why she should fall at your feet and worship you for the 1337 master of the opposite sex you are. Go into many rants at length about fantasies you've had of her and how you are her number 1 fan, but under no circumstances should you stalk her or ever allow yourself to be within 50 feet of her wherever she is. She would consider this distasteful and you would blow your chance forever.
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
~Twisted Quotes
- ag3nt_0rang3
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Yes ..yes you should do that right now. Dont waste any time. Dont even make a demo tape ..just demand that they listen to you sing right there on the spot. If any bodyguards attempt to deter you, knife them because they are jealous hangers on who cant stand the fact that you have talent and they do not.
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
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- ag3nt_0rang3
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Its obvious the reason behind this is all the sexual tension. You have a jones for your associates mother and most likely have fantasies about her that are more embarassing than waterworld was to kevin costner. You need to resolve these issues immediately by asking her out to dinner and some "good sweet lovin" afterwards.
Of course I could be totally wrong and she could just be a total bitch who's sole purpose in life is to make you miserable in which case you should tell your associate to tell his mom she's out of line and needs to "fix her face" as an associate would put it.
And remember ..there are always options...
Seppuku ...i could reccomend a good second
Of course I could be totally wrong and she could just be a total bitch who's sole purpose in life is to make you miserable in which case you should tell your associate to tell his mom she's out of line and needs to "fix her face" as an associate would put it.
And remember ..there are always options...
Seppuku ...i could reccomend a good second
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
~Twisted Quotes
- ag3nt_0rang3
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Ok... time to step in here... this thread is more successful than we first pictured. The ag3nt has described some rather impressive answers with the appopriate amount of truth, humor, and mystique. This said, please do not ask repeated stupid questions. One or two is acceptable, but please give others a chance to ask the new 0racl3 of DCEmu...
"This is worse than when the Raccoon got in the copier!"
- ag3nt_0rang3
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- Dr. Zoidberg
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- ag3nt_0rang3
- Great Antagonist
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Perhaps because the secret of this thread is the part where I tap into your unconcious mind and swipe your thoughts, views and opinions and regurgitate it in digestable bits and pieces that the foaming masses can market and consume?
That or the fact that you remember all too well what my views and opinions are on some of these things
oh btw... found your little furry friend there
apparently he's far from little
That or the fact that you remember all too well what my views and opinions are on some of these things
oh btw... found your little furry friend there
apparently he's far from little
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
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- Soul Sold for DCEmu
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EDIT: Zull, don't be stupid.ag3nt_0rang3 wrote:Yes ...My advice to you (my poorly endowed friend) is to tuck it in, then buy yourself the best cosmetics you can afford as well as a bra and a box of tissue.
Begin your life anew as a drag queen performing sexual acts on deviants until you can afford the cost of a sex change operation. Then with your newfound twisted organs your sisters will envy your giant clitoris.
If this idea isnt appealing to you, the option of seppuku is always open. Remember, there are always choices. If you have need of a second to assist you in the latter I can make some reccomendations.
I am no longer an ACE@ite. Never will I kiss his feet is what I don't. And that I don't, is good I do.
- ag3nt_0rang3
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It would appear then that seppuku is the only option left to you.
Just keep in mind:
You start by inserting the blade into the lower left hand side of your abdomen and bring it to the right, follow this with an upward stroke. Do it in clean quick strokes if you wish to prevent prolonged agony (but hey ...you can only commit seppuku once so why not add a little flare and show off). Remember, the more agonizing it is the more likely everyone will remember you by your honorable passing and not as the guy who always foolishly put strange things in his mouth.
Your second (or Kaishakunin) should be someone you trust and respect (or at least someone who wishes to see you exit this world quickly regardless of the potential amusement and gloating potential in seeing you bleed to death from your own disemboweling) and as such they should not be squeemish or likely to get light headed in the sight of the grand quantities of blood you will be shedding. Make sure you dont get any of your clubwhore buds who think they're too GQ to get a little blood on their bruno mali's.
Remember ...if a displeasing tea master can save face with seppuku (Sen no Rikyu is who Im referring to of course) so can you. If it was good enough for the nobility its good enough for you.
I wish you the best in your passing on to Buddha; and for gods sake whatever you do, dont ruin it all by crying like a goddamned twit near the end.
This should give you a general idea of what to expect
Just keep in mind:
You start by inserting the blade into the lower left hand side of your abdomen and bring it to the right, follow this with an upward stroke. Do it in clean quick strokes if you wish to prevent prolonged agony (but hey ...you can only commit seppuku once so why not add a little flare and show off). Remember, the more agonizing it is the more likely everyone will remember you by your honorable passing and not as the guy who always foolishly put strange things in his mouth.
Your second (or Kaishakunin) should be someone you trust and respect (or at least someone who wishes to see you exit this world quickly regardless of the potential amusement and gloating potential in seeing you bleed to death from your own disemboweling) and as such they should not be squeemish or likely to get light headed in the sight of the grand quantities of blood you will be shedding. Make sure you dont get any of your clubwhore buds who think they're too GQ to get a little blood on their bruno mali's.
Remember ...if a displeasing tea master can save face with seppuku (Sen no Rikyu is who Im referring to of course) so can you. If it was good enough for the nobility its good enough for you.
I wish you the best in your passing on to Buddha; and for gods sake whatever you do, dont ruin it all by crying like a goddamned twit near the end.
This should give you a general idea of what to expect
One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 20th century on the point of a blade
~Twisted Quotes
~Twisted Quotes