Ape got lucky.

Be careful where you tread in here...
cak!
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Ape got lucky.

Post by cak! »

To have a good friend who will let him spend the night on the couch when it's raining outside.

[13:09] <cak> so has anyone here played blue dragon?
[13:09] <darc|macbook> we all have lives
[13:09] <cak> oh
[13:09] <cak> :(
[13:09] <APE> supplies
[13:09] <cak> its 49 degrees out wtf
[13:09] <cak> whys it so cold!
[13:09] <cak> ape doesnt have a life
[13:10] <darc|macbook> yes he does
[13:10] <darc|macbook> he goes to school
[13:10] <cak> thats just a pack of lies
[13:10] <APE> where do you think i was last night?
[13:10] <cak> going to school is not a life
[13:10] <darc|macbook> and he got some pothead pussy last night
[13:10] <cak> here
[13:10] <APE> i was stuck 3 counties over because of rain and my cars shitty tires
[13:10] <APE> no
[13:10] <APE> but i stayed at her place
[13:10] <cak> lol
[13:10] <darc|macbook> he got pothead mouth?
[13:10] <APE> either that or drive home and possibly kill myself
[13:10] <cak> haha
[13:10] <APE> at 1am
[13:10] <cak> did she buy it?
[13:11] <APE> buy what?
[13:11] <darc|macbook> please dont tell me you just got to sleep on the sofa and you just sniffed her pillow all night long
[13:11] <APE> she was fucking with me in my car when i hydroplaned twice
[13:11] <APE> and then again when i practically nailed a curb because of the rain
[13:11] <cak> 'oh man its raining, my tires are real bad..i could drive home but i might die'
[13:11] <cak> ok so youre a bad driver
[13:11] <darc|macbook> 'you better give me head'
[13:11] <APE> no she brought it up first
[13:11] <APE> got nothing to do with being a bad driver
[13:11] <cak> yes it does
[13:11] <cak> i drive in the rain all the time
[13:12] <darc|macbook> yes it certainly does
[13:12] <APE> has all to do with my front wheels being 11 years old
[13:12] <cak> you spoiled californian
[13:12] <APE> and my car being front wheel drive
[13:12] <Anthony> wait
[13:12] <cak> most cars are
[13:12] <Anthony> you stayed at her house
[13:12] <Anthony> wtf did i miss here
[13:12] <cak> yeah
[13:12] <APE> ask darc
[13:12] <cak> ape
[13:12] <APE> i bitched at him last night from her laptop
[13:12] <cak> is it the girl that has a 35 year old boyfriend
[13:12] <cak> wait
[13:12] <cak> wtf
[13:12] <darc|macbook> APE couldnt figure out how to use the internet
[13:12] <cak> wtf
[13:12] <Anthony> ok well so like
[13:12] <Anthony> what happened
[13:12] <Anthony> did you poke her
[13:12] <Anthony> or what
[13:12] <Anthony> DETAILS
[13:12] <cak> you were at a girls house and you got on the internet to talk to darc?
[13:12] <darc|macbook> Anthony he slept on the sofa and sniffed her pillows
[13:12] <Anthony> ......
[13:13] <APE> i just stayed the night
[13:13] <APE> jesus crist
[13:13] <cak> lol
[13:13] <Anthony> could have at least sniffed her panties
[13:13] <cak> did you kiss her
[13:13] <APE> im not darc
[13:13] <darc|macbook> yeah did you go into her pantie drawer
[13:13] <darc|macbook> you probably wore her panties no?
[13:13] <cak> ohh
[13:13] <Anthony> that's like a requirement if you stay at a girls house
[13:13] <cak> sassy
[13:13] <APE> all i did was sit there and try to find info on manson for her
[13:13] <Anthony> you gotta check out the pantie drawer
[13:13] <darc|macbook> lol sassy
[13:13] <APE> then make an attempt to pass out
[13:14] <cak> oh
[13:14] <cak> lame
[13:14] <cak> LAME
[13:14] <Anthony> you mean attempt to anal sex her
[13:14] <Anthony> right?
[13:14] <cak> did you even sleep in the same bed as her?
[13:14] <APE> no
[13:14] <APE> and no
[13:14] <darc|macbook> did you pass out with your mouth on her vagina
[13:14] <darc|macbook> wtf
[13:14] <darc|macbook> so
[13:14] <darc|macbook> uh
[13:14] <Anthony> did you kiss her?
[13:14] <darc|macbook> why were you lucky last night???
[13:14] <cak> were you even in the same room as her?
[13:14] <cak> and
[13:14] <Anthony> lolll
[13:14] <Anthony> omg
[13:14] <cak> did you kiss her?
[13:14] <Anthony> this is getting brutal
[13:14] <darc|macbook> <APE> there be no man luckier than i on this planet
[13:14] <darc|macbook> <APE> except the man who picks winning lotto numbers one after the other
[13:14] <darc|macbook> <Anthony> so you got some pussy or what
[13:14] <darc|macbook> <APE> id rather be a eunich than lose what makes me lucky
[13:14] <darc|macbook> <Anthony> ....
[13:14] <APE> because i could have ended up dead and instead a friend was an awesome friend?
[13:14] <darc|macbook> ROFL
[13:14] <cak> roflmao
[13:15] <Anthony> dude
[13:15] <cak> youre such a girl ape
[13:15] <Anthony> hoes before bros
[13:15] <APE> bunch of coke heads you are
[13:15] <Anthony> i don't do uppers
[13:15] <darc|macbook> that's the best defense Anthony
[13:15] <Anthony> lol
[13:15] <Anthony> i know
[13:15] <darc|macbook> "i don't do THOSE kinds of drugs!"
[13:16] <Anthony> yeah
[13:16] <cak> so wait
[13:16] <APE> we did buy some speed and feed it to pigeons
[13:16] <APE> *fed
[13:16] <cak> DID YOU EVEN KISS HER APE?
[13:16] <darc|macbook> wtf
[13:16] <darc|macbook> cak
[13:16] <Anthony> no he didn't
[13:16] <darc|macbook> n
[13:16] <cak> o
[13:16] <darc|macbook> he didnt do shit
[13:16] <APE> cak no
[13:16] <cak> m
[13:16] <cak> g
[13:16] <Anthony> he'd rather be her friend
[13:16] <darc|macbook> lmfao
[13:16] <cak> oh
[13:16] <Anthony> HOW ABOUT FRIEND WITH BENEFITS
[13:16] <Anthony> KTHX
[13:16] <cak> thats noble of you ape
[13:16] <cak> i respect you now
[13:16] <cak> as a fellow human being
[13:16] <darc|macbook> PSYCHE
[13:16] <Anthony> lollll
[13:16] <cak> JAY KAY
[13:16] <cak> ROFLLLLLLLLLLLL
[13:16] <Anthony> srsly
[13:16] <APE> whatever
[13:16] <Anthony> you don't take a girl to the movies
[13:17] <Anthony> and stay at her house
[13:17] <Anthony> as friends
[13:17] <Anthony> and only friends
[13:17] <cak> wait you took her to the movies ape?
[13:17] <darc|macbook> yea srsly
[13:17] <Anthony> it just doesn't work like that
[13:17] <APE> we got 2 drug addicts and a guy whose big achievement is a drunken bj
[13:17] <cak> wtf
[13:17] <Anthony> don't hate
[13:17] <APE> she took me i suppose
[13:17] <cak> i havent done drugs in like two months
[13:17] <darc|macbook> CAK YEA HE TOOK HER TO THE MOVIES AND SHE WAS A GRATE FREND AND LET HIM NOT DIE
[13:17] <cak> besides weed
[13:17] <Anthony> i haven't done drugs in like 12 hours
[13:17] <Anthony> so yeah
[13:17] <Anthony> i aint no druggy
[13:17] <Anthony> ..or am i
[13:17] <cak> u r
[13:18] <Anthony> damn
[13:18] <darc|macbook> i wouldnt say my big achievement is a drunken bj
[13:18] <Anthony> she was hot though
[13:18] <Anthony> so who cares
[13:18] <cak> at least the 'two drug addicts' would have gotten some last night ape.
[13:18] <cak> AMIRITE Anthony?
[13:18] <APE> im not into rape
[13:18] <Anthony> yeah
[13:19] <cak> ape rhymes with rape of course you are
[13:19] <cak> lol
[13:19] <cak> i had sex with a girl i hate two nights ago
[13:19] <darc|macbook> im not trying to dwell on this one bj over and over again, but the 'drunken' part is brought up too much, she fucking flirted with me on AIM days later when we were both sober
[13:19] <darc|macbook> besides
[13:19] <Anthony> yeah drunk bjs are cool anyway
[13:19] <Anthony> who cares
[13:19] <cak> but she has a really nice body so i didnt really care
[13:19] <Anthony> as long as no vomit was involved
[13:19] <Anthony> it's all good
[13:19] <darc|macbook> i wouldve gotten some last night if i were you ape
[13:19] <darc|macbook> well
[13:19] <Anthony> yeah i would have gotten my penis wet one way or anothe
[13:19] <darc|macbook> if i were me and i were where you were
[13:19] <Anthony> r
[13:19] <darc|macbook> LOL
[13:20] <cak> lol
[13:20] <Anthony> especially if she's hot
[13:20] <cak> wait
[13:20] <darc|macbook> she's prolly fat
[13:20] <cak> when did you get a drunken blow job darc|macbook?
[13:20] <cak> the one from your cousin?
[13:20] <darc|macbook> um
[13:20] <darc|macbook> no
[13:20] <darc|macbook> fuck
[13:20] <Anthony> rofl
[13:20] <darc|macbook> weve had this discussion 20 fuckin times
[13:20] <APE> that was butt sechz
[13:20] <APE> and darc was the reciever
[13:20] <Anthony> hot
[13:20] <darc|macbook> no jeeba and i never had butt sechhz
[13:21] <APE> you just be glad i dont have the logs
[13:21] <cak> you cant log irl ape
[13:21] <Anthony> sure you can
[13:21] <Anthony> with the home stenographer
[13:21] <cak> lol
[13:21] <cak> whats that from
[13:21] <darc|macbook> so ape
[13:21] <darc|macbook> when you plan on making a move?
[13:21] <Anthony> mad tv or snl
[13:21] <Anthony> i forget
[13:21] <APE> you keep forgetting its her sister im interested in
[13:22] <darc|macbook> who cares
[13:22] <Anthony> keepin it in the family huh
[13:22] <Anthony> nice score
[13:22] <darc|macbook> you can still put it in her
[13:22] <Anthony> now fuck them both
[13:22] <darc|macbook> besides
[13:22] <darc|macbook> if she were a guy, you WOULD NOT be saying "IM SO LUCKY"
[13:22] <darc|macbook> so i know you have feelings for her outside friendship
[13:22] <darc|macbook> either that or you have no fucking friends period...
[13:23] <Anthony> just start ramming her ass
[13:23] <Anthony> things will work out
[13:23] <darc|macbook> {Playing} "Reptile" - Artist: Nine Inch Nails - Album: The Downward Spiral (Deluxe Edition)
[13:23] <Anthony> {Playing} "Hanging On For Hope" - Artist: The New Amsterdams - Album: Worse For The Wear
[13:24] <darc|macbook> so ape
[13:24] <darc|macbook> when you gonna make a move on her SISTER
[13:24] <APE> probably tonight?
[13:24] <darc|macbook> you gonna put it in her?
[13:24] <darc|macbook> "no i respect her too much"
[13:24] <darc|macbook> laaaawl
[13:25] <Anthony> lol
[13:25] <Anthony> just be like cak
[13:25] <darc|macbook> play wow?
[13:25] <darc|macbook> lawl
[13:25] <Anthony> put all women in one category
[13:25] <Anthony> whores.
[13:25] <darc|macbook> ARENT THEY ALL, amirite or amirite
[13:25] <cak> they are
[13:25] <Anthony> yeah they are
[13:25] <cak> im not joking
[13:25] <Anthony> i finally see the light
[13:25] <cak> its truth
[13:26] <Anthony> word
[13:26] <cak> when you classify all women as whores life becomes a lot easier
[13:26] <Anthony> {Playing} "campfire kansas" - Artist: the get up kids - Album: on a wire
[13:28] <darc|macbook> you empower women by fucking them
[13:29] <Anthony> rofl
[13:29] <cak> its true
[13:29] <cak> you do
[13:29] <cak> they feel good about themselves
[13:29] <darc|macbook> all this time, male society has been like "don't give it up, dont give it up, be a good girl"
[13:29] <cak> watch knocked up
[13:29] <darc|macbook> break the chains of male society and fuck em
[13:29] <cak> the sisters like
[13:29] <Anthony> roflllll
[13:29] <Anthony> {Playing} "Miracle Sun (studio demo)" - Artist: Circa Survive - Album: Equal Vision Records Summer 07 Sampler
[13:30] <cak> 'would the guys in her fuck me?' 'yeah' 'it might sound weird but that makes me feel good'
[13:30] <cak> *here
[13:30] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:30] <cak> men are holding women back by telling them not to fuck
[13:30] <darc|macbook> im not really joking either
[13:30] <darc|macbook> why shouldnt girls be able to fuck just like men do
[13:30] <cak> they do
[13:30] <cak> and more so
[13:30] <cak> duh
[13:30] <cak> thats why theyre all whores
[13:30] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:32] <darc|macbook> {Playing} "The Downward Spiral" - Artist: Nine Inch Nails - Album: The Downward Spiral (Deluxe Edition)
[13:32] <cak> dont think that girl with the cute ponytails and hello kitty shirt in your algebra 2 class favorite things in life include going to church and spending time with her family
[13:32] <cak> in reality they probably including fisting and ocular penetration
[13:32] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:32] <Anthony> that's so hot
[13:32] <darc|macbook> yea
[13:32] <cak> all
[13:32] <cak> girls
[13:32] <cak> are
[13:32] <cak> whores
[13:32] <cak> agaw
[13:33] <cak> AGAW
[13:33] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:34] <darc|macbook> {Playing} "Hurt" - Artist: Nine Inch Nails - Album: The Downward Spiral (Deluxe Edition)
[13:35] <darc|macbook> Anthony i was looking into .mac earlier, its not actually that bad since they moved to 10gb
[13:35] <Anthony> yeah
[13:35] <Anthony> what was it before?
[13:35] <darc|macbook> like 1gb
[13:35] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:35] <Anthony> oh
[13:35] <Anthony> yeah that's bad
[13:35] <darc|macbook> and gmail had 3
[13:36] <Anthony> mine is free so i don't care what it has
[13:36] <Anthony> set up notmac
[13:36] <darc|macbook> i was thinking about getting it but i dont really wanna spend the money
[13:36] <darc|macbook> yeah
[13:36] <Anthony> on your server
[13:36] <darc|macbook> thats what iw as about to say
[13:36] <darc|macbook> well, i dont have a server
[13:36] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:36] <Anthony> oh yeah
[13:36] <Anthony> you just have hosting
[13:36] <darc|macbook> yeah
[13:36] <Anthony> r00t cheatah's box
[13:36] <darc|macbook> that and notMac needs an OS X server
[13:36] <darc|macbook> linux and win versions arent out yet
[13:36] <Anthony> oh i did not know that
[13:37] <Anthony> rofl this girl apparently doesn't understand what the fuck idle means
[13:37] <darc|macbook> lol
[13:37] <Anthony> i am idle on aim and away and she im's me saying hi anyway
[13:37] <Anthony> i'm trying to avoid her
[13:38] <cak> i found a picture of ape last night
[13:38] <cak> http://a504.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/im ... 654cb7.jpg
[13:38] <cak> LOL!!
[13:38] <Anthony> lol
[13:38] <darc|macbook> wtf
[13:40] <darc|macbook> {Playing} "Head Like A Hole" - Artist: Nine Inch Nails - Album: Pretty Hate Machine
[13:41] <cak> ape didnt kill himself did he?
[13:41] <cak> ;/
[13:42] <APE> no i only hit up some pcp and started to fillet my face
[13:42] <APE> dont know about you sorry fucks but i gotta take a pretty girl to a movie tonight
[13:43] <APE> oh whats that? youre sitting at home getting drunk?
[13:43] <cak> no
[13:43] <cak> i think im going to be sober and reading
[13:43] <APE> loser!
[13:43] <cak> ill probably call up a booty call though
[13:43] <cak> :D
[13:43] <cak> where i wont have to spend money on her
[13:43] <cak> and take her on a fancy date
[13:43] <cak> only to sleep on her couch
[13:43] <cak> and be woken up by her mother at 7am to get your things and drive home
[13:44] <APE> you got so many details wrong right there you might as well have been playing madlibs
[13:44] <cak> your life is a madlib
[13:44] <cak> OH BURN
[13:45] <cak> want me to call the burn ward now or later?
[13:48] <darc|macbook> APE you gonna fuck her tonight?
[13:49] <darc|macbook> if not, im really fuckin jealous that you get to buy someone a movie ticket, watch it with them, and then say good night
[13:50] <darc|macbook> and it not really even being officially a date
Last edited by cak! on Wed Oct 10, 2007 6:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by APE »

The fact you have to make a pathetic attempt at public mockery only shows your own childishness.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Calavera »

OMG I got laid, tee hee. I turn 12 tommorow.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by cak! »

san diego translates to whales vagina in french
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by that_guy »

That was a great read.

[13:11] <APE> she was fucking with me in my car when i hydroplaned twice
[13:11] <APE> and then again when i practically nailed a curb because of the rain

APE wtf man?? You should of pulled over and put it in her pooper, or at least got your fingers wet and some road head. If she was all over you, all you did when yall made it back to her house was talk to darc and sleep on the couch?? DUDE, you could of got pictures and posted them in the ex-girlfriend thread. For shame........for shame.

Dude I swear if you take this chick out and spend all this money on her and you don't even get a kiss much less her touching your penis, I have lost all faith in you and you will hold that regret that "I could of got at least SOMETHING from her sister."

EDIT: After reading it again, she is the one that said you should stay over? Wow....just wow.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by APE »

that_guy wrote:That was a great read.

[13:11] <APE> she was fucking with me in my car when i hydroplaned twice
[13:11] <APE> and then again when i practically nailed a curb because of the rain

APE wtf man?? You should of pulled over and put it in her pooper, or at least got your fingers wet and some road head. If she was all over you, all you did when yall made it back to her house was talk to darc and sleep on the couch?? DUDE, you could of got pictures and posted them in the ex-girlfriend thread. For shame........for shame.

Dude I swear if you take this chick out and spend all this money on her and you don't even get a kiss much less her touching your penis, I have lost all faith in you and you will hold that regret that "I could of got at least SOMETHING from her sister."

EDIT: After reading it again, she is the one that said you should stay over? Wow....just wow.
<APE> she was fucking with me in my car when i hydroplaned twice

is the same written as

<APE> she was with me in my car when i hydroplaned twice

The word "fucking" used to emphasize the fact she was in my car.

What happened was that I went with a friend to a film festival that's 3 counties over from where I live. Movie ended at midnight or so and I was driving her home when my car hydroplanes twice. She was worried that I'd end up in an accident or worse so I stayed at her place for the night.

End of story, Cak is just a drug addict who can't help but be childish.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by bizzle »

that_guy wrote:DUDE, you could of got pictures and posted them in the ex-girlfriend thread. For shame........for shame.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by that_guy »

Xylene wrote:
that_guy wrote:DUDE, you could of got pictures and posted them in the ex-girlfriend thread. For shame........for shame.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by DaMadFiddler »

Null.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Code-Red »

While I dislike cak, and a majority of the people in that IRC room are virgins, all I've got to say is:

CMON!!!!

What kind of bullshit emo story is this. You should have fucked her.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by bizzle »

Code-Red wrote:While I dislike cak, and a majority of the people in that IRC room are virgins, all I've got to say is:

CMON!!!!

What kind of bullshit emo story is this. You should have fucked her.
It's probably about half and half on the virgins. Maybe a little more on the virgin boat.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Code-Red »

Blowjobs don't count as getting laid, btw.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by cak! »

Code-Red wrote:While I dislike cak, and a majority of the people in that IRC room are virgins, all I've got to say is:

CMON!!!!

What kind of bullshit emo story is this. You should have fucked her.
i dont know how you can dislike me i dont even know who you are

maybe youd like me if you got to know me

im a very likable person
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Calavera »

Code-Red wrote:Blowjobs don't count as getting laid, btw.
Listen to this man, he knows his stuff.
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Specially Cork »

cak wrote:im a very likable person
:guffaw:
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by bizzle »

cak is cool.
cak!
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by cak! »

DaMadFiddler wrote:Null.
i always wanted to be in that guild in eq they were so cool :'(
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by DaMadFiddler »

Xylene wrote:cak is cool.
It's...it's just too easy. I can't do it. :lol:
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by Code-Red »

Xylene wrote:cak is cool.
So was clessoulis, according to you. JKKDark or stagg on your cool list too Xylene?
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Re: Ape got lucky.

Post by cak! »

DaMadFiddler wrote:
Xylene wrote:cak is cool.
It's...it's just too easy. I can't do it. :lol:
i heard from someone in irc that youre autistic, you poor thing :(

and code-red dont be a hater because im harder, better, faster, and stronger than you
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