The War on Matt

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Re: The War on Matt

Post by SuperMegatron » Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:16 am

I am rather good at revenge. You can

Order a bunch of gay magazines use the address of his parents or girlfriend but have his name on them.
take a small cup of maybe 4 oz of milk, pour it under his car seat on a hot day.
Place a small dab of crisco inside his shoes. The crisco will go rancid and make him smell.This one works good since his body heat will melt the crisco each time he wears the shoes, thus enhancing the smell.

Buy a product called sinusbuster, wait until he is asleep then spray that shit in his nose.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by Zealous zerotype » Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:30 pm

Fucking rape him. Just rape the HELL out of him and film it and show it to his parents...in court. Anyways, I'd go with something that won't seriously hurt him like ky jelly on the floor. That could end badly (pictures of him falling and hitting his head on the bathroom sink run through my head). I would just put fake blood on his butt while he is sleeping then put a fake bloddy dildo in his bed and leave a love note from you. Hopefully he won't call the cops since his butt won't hurt, but waking up that could scare the shit out of him for a moment, lol.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:11 pm

SuperMegatron wrote: take a small cup of maybe 4 oz of milk, pour it under his car seat on a hot day.
Place a small dab of crisco inside his shoes. The crisco will go rancid and make him smell.This one works good since his body heat will melt the crisco each time he wears the shoes, thus enhancing the smell.
The guy smells like a pile of week-old wet laundry, he wouldn't smell the difference.

Anyhoo, I decided that I'm just gonna pound the shit out of the midget.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by melancholy » Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:13 am

AgentGreen wrote:Anyhoo, I decided that I'm just gonna pound the shit out of the midget.
So in other words you aren't going to do anything to him.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:56 am

Well a water pipe just burst in his room yesterday (I shit you not :lol:) so I can't really top that prank-wise and pranking him will make him think it's a friendly contest and he really needs a good beatdown to teach him a lesson.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by gamedudex2 » Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:31 pm

shit in his bed, and his underwear drawer, and by his tv. . well get a dog to do it at least then get some dead animals and place in his room. :) then hide in his closet wearing a mask (some crazy halloween or mexican wrestler mask) then wack him with a baseball bat in the leg, then run off.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by FiendWithoutAface » Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:55 pm

Well for something a bit more realistic.... The next time your over there take the toilet tank lid off and do your business in the tank. He will wonder why his toilet water is always brown and why his bathroom always stinks. This is called the "Upper Decker"
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by gamedudex2 » Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:36 pm

FiendWithoutAface wrote:Well for something a bit more realistic.... The next time your over there take the toilet tank lid off and do your business in the tank. He will wonder why his toilet water is always brown and why his bathroom always stinks. This is called the "Upper Decker"
thats an awesome one. you so should do that. but i would go and do more than one prank. it would be best to really fuck the guys mind up by doing a bunch of crazy shit to his place. post some random craigslist ads and give his address saying he buys and sells used panties and mens briefs, as well as he buys use condoms. i'm sure he will get lots of freaks knocking on his door.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by melancholy » Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:40 pm

Actually, AG, you're probably right. You should do something that would be anonymous since if he found out it was you, he'd definitely try to prank you back.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by stagg » Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:04 am

SuperMegatron wrote:I am rather good at revenge. You can

Order a bunch of gay magazines use the address of his parents or girlfriend but have his name on them.

Not the same effect when he's gay.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by SuperMegatron » Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:31 pm

stagg wrote:
SuperMegatron wrote:I am rather good at revenge. You can

Order a bunch of gay magazines use the address of his parents or girlfriend but have his name on them.

Not the same effect when he's gay.

Oh, didn't think that one through.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by SuperMegatron » Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:46 pm

AgentGreen wrote: Image
Are you the guy on the right? If so why are you allowing someone who isnt as massive fuck with you.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by stagg » Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:19 pm

SuperMegatron wrote:
AgentGreen wrote: Image
Are you the guy on the right? If so why are you allowing someone who isnt as massive fuck with you.
Lmfao.
So true. Just beat the shit out of him, gay style.

and by that I mean have a slappy fight.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:05 am

SuperMegatron wrote:
AgentGreen wrote: Image
Are you the guy on the right? If so why are you allowing someone who isnt as massive fuck with you.
I roughed him up on Saturday as a warning, he drunk dialed me again at 5:00AM after I had re-injured my ankle (sprained it a week and a half ago) walking a friend home from the party at our friend's apartment. I threw on my boots and hoodie, limped over to where he and a couple of our friends were walking back, and knocked the little asshole down. I didn't even hit him that hard and he went down and curled up in a fetal position and told him to stop being an asshole because nobody in the group thought it was funny and everyone was really resenting his company.

Of course, the little shit didn't take a lesson and proceeded to still call me intermittently during the rest of the night, I turned off my phone and answering machine after the second one. If I were to knock him out in his own dorm room, the R.A.s might get involved and it was quite obvious he was too drunk and too stupid to learn anything so I'm gonna catch him while he's (somewhat) sober on Friday or Saturday and challenge him in front of everyone. The desired effect is that he'll be humiliated into humility either by pussing out or getting the beat-down.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by Zealous zerotype » Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:20 am

get somebody to film it for youtube or else none of us will believe you.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:16 pm

Zealous zerotype wrote:get somebody to film it for youtube or else none of us will believe you.
That's actually the plan :lol:
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by that_guy » Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:42 pm

That might bite you in the ass. What if infact he doesn't back down? Your friends who came to videotape you stomping him out might actually record you getting beat down.


Some food for thought...............

Never under-estimate your opponent or over-estimate your ability.
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by toastman » Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:05 pm

that_guy wrote:That might bite you in the ass. What if infact he doesn't back down? Your friends who came to videotape you stomping him out might actually record you getting beat down.


Some food for thought...............

Never under-estimate your opponent or over-estimate your ability.
What if he dismisses you out of hand with a casual "Fuck off".
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:25 pm

that_guy wrote:That might bite you in the ass. What if infact he doesn't back down? Your friends who came to videotape you stomping him out might actually record you getting beat down.


Some food for thought...............

Never under-estimate your opponent or over-estimate your ability.
I outweigh him by a good 60 pounds, I'm 5 inches taller than him, he's never been in a real fight (one of his ideas of a fight victory was tripping one of our drunk and always-clumsy friends when he ran by him), and I have a 3-1 amateur boxing record and a couple aikido lessons and I hit the gym regularly.

Other than the boxing a couple years ago and a couple fights in middle school, I haven't fought anyone because that's not me. But this little asshole has made everyone in our group resentful of his company, talking with him is useless because he doesn't listen, he has an undeserved sense of self-satisfaction, and he keeps doing these retarded and annoying "pranks" that he won't own up to but we know it's him because nobody else in the gang does it. A beatdown to show him he's not hot-shit in a champagne glass is what he needs.
toastman wrote:]What if he dismisses you out of hand with a casual "Fuck off".
We will ridicule him as a pussy and hopefully it'll be enough to humiliate him into humility
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Re: The War on Matt

Post by AgentGreen » Sun Mar 23, 2008 3:26 pm

A pathetic display...

While I was in my good-natured drunkeness, the shit calls a truce and I, feeling benevolent and tipsy, accepted. Fast forward to 4 hours later, the little fucker jumped me coming out of the bathroom at our friend's place while I was near passed-out on the floor watching Return of The King. It was "revenge" for "jumping" him last Sunday morning after he drunk dialed me and woke me up (which he denies). Didn't realize giving him a couple warning shoves while telling him how much of an asshole he was, then knocking him over and giving a couple kicks counted as jumping. He kicked me in the stomach and then he wailed on me (or at least tried but little fucker doesn't know how to punch). He walked away while I got up, gasping and almost vomiting. I recovered and told him "Glasses off, we're doing this" but he says "No, I'm done!" I chase him into my friend's room and slap the glasses off his face and give him a couple more slaps but before it escalates to the point of property damage, my other friend talks me down and we agree to wait until the movie's over and we'd go outside to do it.

What ensued was a pathetic display of attemtped punches and him spending most of the time on the ground. I get a few graceless slugs in and keep him grounded while he flails like a 5 year old, but it's clear I'm winning. He doesn't even knock me off balance. He only got a couple of hits in that I remember as significant: He knocked my hat off and he flicked me in the lip after one of my friends "called it"

At the end of the night, my buzz is gone and the only things that hurt were the spot he kicked me in and my right middle finger knuckle from punching an icy snowbank that was more solid than I thought it would be earlier in the day.

Video soon
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