Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

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Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:13 pm

Well, after a year of awesomeness (fot the most part) me and the gf are going through yet ANOTHER trifiling period. Now don't take this is as a cry for help, and I'm not expecting any advice or anything, but I seriously need to vent.

The other night the gf was at my place and things were peachy! We had just finished watching a movie and were talking about, well, just random junk anyhow, when one of the topcs that was brought up was a previous arguement we had about a friend that I had who also happened to be a girl. Now my gf is WAY too over jealous. Like stupid jealous. But I've come to terms with it, and don't do anything that will make her jealous.

Anyhow, the subject came up and what started as a few comments, turned into a total reminder and basically re-did the whole arguement/bs we went through last time. So towards the end of it, I said to her "You do realize that none of this would have come to pass, if you weren't so jealous. You even admited to being way more jealous than the average person, and the fact if it was a guy friend you couldn't care less." To which shit hit the fan.

So here I am with a raving lunatic girl sitting beside me "Don't touch me!", "I can't talk to you right now!" as well as "I can't believe you said this is all my fault!". Reasoning had no effect nor did leaving her alone. 10 mins later, "Give me a ride home." were the only words she spoke to me.

As I was driving her home, we got about 10 mins from my house (She lives about 25 mins away. 52km to be exact.) when I stopped into a Coffee Shop parking lot, parked and said "Look - I'll take you home, but do me at least a little respect and talk to me first." No responce. "Helloo... I'm talking to you - the least you can do is aknowledge me" Still no responce. Now I'm pissed (more so than before over this stupid ordeal). She says "Give me a fucking ride home!"

Now I'm not one to talk to kids, let alone someone who's acting like one. Mad or not, throwing a tantrum over - what I consider to be nothing - to me, is very unacceptable. So upon re-stating my demands of a conversation no matter how vulgar, she storms out of my car, and proceeds to call her sisters boyfriend to come pick her up.

I'm still trying to talk to her and she won't even look at me. I try standing in her path, she yells "Fuck you, go the fuck home!" Ok. So she's mad. I continue to follow her inside where she orders a coffee and waits to be picked up 2 hours later by her sisters bf (Who happened to be at work). I sit down with her and stay silent - she again says "I don't need your f'in ride, go home." I say "I'm not leaving you in a coffee shop on the side of the highway." she then gets up and walks to the other side of the store. I start to follow when she yells at me "Go home!"

Now I'm pissed more so - I'm on the verge of tears of rage, but keep my cool. I say nothing and walk back to my car. Call her sisters bf and talk to him "Thanks man - she's probably gonna yell rape if I try and talk to her again.." He has no troubles and no complaints picking her up after his work.

So - I just don't care anymore. I leave her and head home. Last I heard from her was a text message on my phone at 4 in the morning saying "Don't even call me or come see me - I have no interest in fixing the issue between us. And thanks for the f'in ride home."

* * * *

For those of you who don't like reading. Summary.

1) we're mad at eachother
2) she wants ride home
3) stop at coffee shop
4) she won't talk to me
5) upon getting her to talk to me she exits car and screams at me to go home
6) so I do.


All I can say right now, is I love her. I really do. I don't like her right now, but I still love her. I hope this all blows over. I'm not mad anymore (it's been 24 hours afterall) but she can hold grudges for months (woot -_- ). If she never wants to see me again - I won't be suprised, but I'd like my stuff back - lol

Well I feel better after writing this down - thats for sure.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by MulletMan13 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:23 pm

One of my exes was JUST like this... got over it in a couple days, but it kept happening over.. and over.. and over, until finally she ended up physically attacking me. For whatever reason I stayed in the relationship (I was an idiot high schooler who was happy to be getting laid on a regular basis). My advice would be to get out of it... get as far away from her as you can, and regain your girl friends back. A situation like that is just the tip of the iceberg... things might have been fine for however long you said before, but now you're seeing the real person she is... and overly jealous is NOT a good trait.

Trust me on this one, get out [and get your stuff back].

( I know its easier said than done, but really ... I cannot emphasize this more)
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:40 pm

Arg - I know you're probably right. I mean, I've always known, but just overlooked it 'cause it didn't seem to come up very often. To me it's such a small problem, however, rat poison tablets are small too - but it just takes 1 in your dinner to... well... :roll:

I guess I'd better grow a pair and pull the plug. I have to get my stuff first and let her down easily. She acts tough when things like this happen but I know in a few days she'll hopefully realize she can be an idiot.

She's a fantastic person and I love her to death, regardless of the few small issues we've had, but all signs point to she's probably not the right one :?
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Code-Red » Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:40 pm

I would have dumped her ass off about 3/5 through your story. The girl wants to be rude, no fucking drive.

I don't fuck around with women. They want to play their stupid games, fuck 'em.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Stormwatch » Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:31 pm

Girl who throws tantrum, won't listen to rational arguments, treat you like shit and try to make you feel guilty, and remains angry for days. Yeah, been there too. If you stay, you'll live like you're in a minefield: a wrong step and she explodes in another tantrum. Same shit all over again.

I don't doubt you love her, but it's NOT worth it. Unless she acknowledges her temper issues and makes an effort to restrain herself... walk away.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by arrowhead » Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:01 pm

Id say get out since you cant have a rational conversation with her.

That being said, I might have to agree with her on the friends of the opposite sex tip. I happen to truly believe that either one or the other person is in it because they want to be more than friends. In your case, you might not be sexually attracted to her, but odds are if that is true, she is sexually attracted to you. Honestly, what do you have in common with her that you don't have in common with guys? Would you rather talk sports, booze, gambling, women, cars, etc with a buddy of yours or a chick that is a "friend". I'm willing to bet you have more in common with your buddies than a chick. Same goes for girls that have "friends that are guys". This is always my response when my chick says she has guy friends: "you want to test it? Call your "friend" and tell him we are fighting, tell him you really don't want to be alone tonight and see what he says. Tell him you feel like he understands you, and you think you might want to experiment with him, you feel like you might have deeper feelings for him. If he is your friend he wont, if he says come over, you know where you stand and he only wants to bone you." Big surprise, she has never tested my challenge.

I know in high school and college I would act like a chicks "friend" because I wanted to bone her, other than that I really don't find myself wanting to hang out with women.

I know I will get a thrashing from some here, but that is what I believe, right or wrong.
Shut that cunts mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by TyBO » Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:43 pm

Does she have any close friends who are guys?

Do you take issue with that?
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by DCDayDreamer » Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:33 am

She's testing you!.

If you've been together a year already, that's pretty good going seeing as you've been down this road before. I'd say she's nuts about you, she wants you 100% (and that means 100%) all to herself, jealousy, obsession, call it whatever you want, she's still nuts about you.

The text message you got at 4AM says it all...

"Don't even call me or come see me..." means 'I want him to call me and come see me', she'll probably just ignore you when you do, fight with you, hang up the phone etc. etc., that's just going to be her way of getting back at you and testing your commitment.

"I have no interest in fixing the issue between us" means 'I want you to fix the issue between us', how you do that is sort of like facing walking a length of hot embers with bare feet (walk, run, hop, skip, jump - either way it'll be mind over matter). Whatever you do, it'll have to be 100%, you'll probably end up doing all the talking with her pretending not to care, you'll have to tell her everything and probably more than once.

"And thanks for the f'in ride home" means she really wanted the ride home from you, she wanted the commitment, she tested you - and you failed! (in her eyes). You'd have been better just telling her something like "fine!, if that's the way you want it, I'll leave!, but I'm going to sit in the car until your ride home arrives... goodnight!".
she might have come to you in the car (but probably not), even in a bad mood, she'd have known that you rally cared about her (more than your friend that she has issues with anyway), and the next hour or two for her would have been soul searching time. By leaving her like that, you've just let a situation rot and fester for her even longer, it's a small issue for you, but it obviously means a lot to her.

You have two choices:

1 - Bite the bullet!, do the talking, do the running, be prepared for some turmoil and emotions running high. If that's the choice you're going to make, this situation WILL rear it's ugly head again, something small and insignificant might trigger it off, it may be a week or a year later, but it will happen again.
The deep rooted problem here is she's an insecure person, it's going to be down to you to find out the cause of the insecurity - if you're willing to go down that path that is?. You might not like what you hear if you go down that path, but sometimes you have to go into the darkest places to understand just how bright the light really is.

2 - Get out of the relationship.

Well I feel better after writing this down - thats for sure
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:31 am

DCDayDreamer wrote:She's testing you!.

If you've been together a year already, that's pretty good going seeing as you've been down this road before. I'd say she's nuts about you, she wants you 100% (and that means 100%) all to herself, jealousy, obsession, call it whatever you want, she's still nuts about you.

The text message you got at 4AM says it all...

"Don't even call me or come see me..." means 'I want him to call me and come see me', she'll probably just ignore you when you do, fight with you, hang up the phone etc. etc., that's just going to be her way of getting back at you and testing your commitment.

"I have no interest in fixing the issue between us" means 'I want you to fix the issue between us', how you do that is sort of like facing walking a length of hot embers with bare feet (walk, run, hop, skip, jump - either way it'll be mind over matter). Whatever you do, it'll have to be 100%, you'll probably end up doing all the talking with her pretending not to care, you'll have to tell her everything and probably more than once.

"And thanks for the f'in ride home" means she really wanted the ride home from you, she wanted the commitment, she tested you - and you failed! (in her eyes). You'd have been better just telling her something like "fine!, if that's the way you want it, I'll leave!, but I'm going to sit in the car until your ride home arrives... goodnight!".
she might have come to you in the car (but probably not), even in a bad mood, she'd have known that you rally cared about her (more than your friend that she has issues with anyway), and the next hour or two for her would have been soul searching time. By leaving her like that, you've just let a situation rot and fester for her even longer, it's a small issue for you, but it obviously means a lot to her.

You have two choices:

1 - Bite the bullet!, do the talking, do the running, be prepared for some turmoil and emotions running high. If that's the choice you're going to make, this situation WILL rear it's ugly head again, something small and insignificant might trigger it off, it may be a week or a year later, but it will happen again.
The deep rooted problem here is she's an insecure person, it's going to be down to you to find out the cause of the insecurity - if you're willing to go down that path that is?. You might not like what you hear if you go down that path, but sometimes you have to go into the darkest places to understand just how bright the light really is.

2 - Get out of the relationship.

Well I feel better after writing this down - thats for sure
:wink:
In regards to the bold statement in the quote, this is what I've been doing since day 1. Every fight we get into, I show up (most times unnanounced) and attempt to sit and fix the problem. And as always it takes a good 20 mins to 3 hours of me DRILLING her with "What the hell..." and reiterating myself over and over untill she feels comfortable enough to talk.

* * * * *


I've come to terms that it's her home life that is killing her. When things get rough, she runs home where there are no rules/punishment/consequences then when she's feeling brave, and the coast is clear, she'll peek her head out and slowly come back out into the open untill shit hits the fan again. Then it's scamper back home to her life of delusions and lies about how perfect she is.

She won't admit she's wrong, she is acting like she's 6, times when I have been wrong I've admited it (sometimes not right away, but I'll admit when I'm wrong eventually) and for some reason we have this ... game... where she can piss me off whenever she wants, but I'm not alowed to make her mad - She gets mad, it's my fault. I get mad, it's my fault :p

I'm going to try and talk to her once more. I highly doubt it will work since she blames me, or changes the subject whenever her character comes into play. If she will listen for the first time ever, then I might be able to "HOPEFULLY" beat some sence into her.

I honestly think she's at fault right now. BIG time.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Roofus » Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:22 am

If you stay with her, you'll have to put up with this for the rest of your life. You won't be happy. She won't be happy. Get out.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Stormwatch » Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:28 pm

Hawke wrote:for some reason we have this ... game... where she can piss me off whenever she wants, but I'm not alowed to make her mad - She gets mad, it's my fault. I get mad, it's my fault :p
This game has a name. It's called "emotionally abusive relationship". Quit playing.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Thu Sep 20, 2007 2:43 pm

Well, I've made up my mind - It's over.

I'm not even going to try and reason with her. I'll just get my stuff back.

Hopfully my stuff is still ... get back-able =\
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Dreamcast4life » Thu Sep 20, 2007 4:26 pm

Good Call,Hawke. I am happy just working and living comfortably. Women piss me off and I don't deal with it. I just live for me and they can go get fucked.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:34 pm

So she phones me up yelling and screaming. I play the calm mature part the whole conversation. I start to bring her issues into play. She changes the subject. I keep it on course. She blames me. I keep on what I'm saying. So finally she says "You don't have to tell me these things. I'm giving you a lot of respect right now by not hanging up on you!"

I continue talking. I continue to tell her about all the issues I've seen and the fact that she needs to change of her own accord. No one can change her. I foolishly believed I could, but even though I was helping as best I could, she wasn't accepting the help. So finally she says "This isn't working. Is it?"

to which I replied "I'm working. I've been working since day one. The problem is, I'm working against you and your emotional issues that are taboo to mention."

So I say "I'm not mad at you. I'm not even upset. But it's very sad and dissapointing when you're able to see, clear as day, all your own faults and issues and you won't even deal with them. Making excuses or covering them up with blame or ignoring them completly." I then continued to talk about what kind of future she would have (kind of a dick move, but I was slightly power drunk :twisted: ) if she continues this life style.

Again, I reiterate by saying I still care about her, I have no regrets from our time together, but alas, it's over.

I hung up first :D
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Stormwatch » Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:05 pm

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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by not just souLLy now » Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:26 am

as long as she doesn't kill herself you win! woop woop
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Hawke » Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:03 pm

well it's day 2 now, and I feel terrible. I didn't know breaking up with someone could make you feel physically sick :p
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by mankrip » Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:39 pm

Hawke wrote:well it's day 2 now, and I feel terrible. I didn't know breaking up with someone could make you feel physically sick :p
You will feel better when you find a new girlfriend.

By the way, :thumbup: on dumping her.
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Re: Girl Troubles v 9.9.99..etc

Post by Egotistical EvilN » Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:25 pm

Hawke wrote:well it's day 2 now, and I feel terrible. I didn't know breaking up with someone could make you feel physically sick :p
Yeah. Unfortunately it can last for a very long time. The sooner you find someone else, the better.
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