Changing my Life

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Specially Cork
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Changing my Life

Post by Specially Cork » Wed May 30, 2007 7:28 pm

Excuse me while I have a brief emo rant. If I had a Livejournal, I'd stick it there, but I don't so meh.

Firstly me and my Japanese girlfriend have officially called it a day. It's been almost 3 years and things were going great at one point, but the long-distance predictably took it's toll. 5+ hours a day on webcam, changed to a couple of hours, changed to daily phonecalls, changed to just chatting on MSN, changed to almost nothing. The longer we spent apart, the less we became of each other's lives. My visits to see her kept the fire burning a little longer, but it's reached the point where making myself available to chat to her to fit with her timezone is a real inconvenience, and any conversation we have is fairly strained. Sharing your daily life with someone who has very little part in it is really quite umcofortable, even if they are your partner.

The thing is, we got so distant it isn't really that upsetting. I can pull out my box of memories and cry if I want. But my current daily life won't have anything obviously absent from it. You can't really miss someone when they weren't there to be missed in the first place.

Anyway, even if we hadn't called it a day, I would just be delaying the inevitable on my part, because I'm already deep into planning my exit from University. It's gonna be annoying because everyone is going to assume I'm ditching Japanese and this Autumn's move to Japan because I lost my Japanese girlfriend. But I was studying it before I met her, and had motivation to before I met her, plus I've been mulling over quitting for a while. I just don't have the passion for the language others have, and after staying in Japan for 3 months a couple of summers ago I realised I just want to travel, not settle down, so living and working in Japan on a permanent basis just isn't for me.

Luckily I'll still get my Teaching English qualification, as it was only a year course, and there's plenty of countries out there that will take me even if I don't have a degree. I won't be looking at permanent jobs with great-pay, but that's not what I want. I want to get out there and see the world. A 6 month contract here, a 6 month contract there. Maybe it won't work out, but with most employers offering free flights and sorting out your paperwork I've got nothing to lose right now, and I'm really looking forward to doing this, more so than I ever have been about studying Japanese.

So yeah, that's the end of my little rant :D I just decided to get some stuff off my chest, and let everyone know about my new lifeplan, because I'm sure you all care :P
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Re: Changing My Life

Post by mankrip » Wed May 30, 2007 7:47 pm

I had a friend in a similar situation once. His then-girlfriend's family is Japanese, and one day she went to Japan to work and study. He was planning to marry her, and also spent about 3 years talking to her through the Internet every day. He even has a tattoo with his and her names written in Katakana in the back of his shoulder. After these 3 years, she ended their relationship.

Long-distance relationships are a living hell, it was very sad to see everything the guy went through those years to keep in contact with her. He became obsessed with the relationship, got desperate every time he couldn't access the Internet to talk to her, and got paranoid every time he didn't receive her phone calls.

He got very sad when she finally dumped him, but thankfully he got well again after some time.
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Re: Changing My Life

Post by Code-Red » Wed May 30, 2007 8:33 pm

Thread fails without pics. Since shes single now, she wouldn't mind a real man coming by.

J/k Boney, I was in the same situation a number of years back. It was the easiest brakeup ever. I wish they could all be that easy.
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Re: Changing My Life

Post by JuddWack » Thu May 31, 2007 1:50 am

That's a hard bargain to hold up. Seems like the inevitable almost. Anyway if you decide to go to China I could help you out.
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Re: Changing My Life

Post by perry » Thu May 31, 2007 4:04 am

Funny, my one long distance break up (which granted wasn't as far as Japan but still..) was the hardest thing I've ever done.
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Re: Changing My Life

Post by Veggita2099 » Thu May 31, 2007 11:49 am

Unless one of you has plans to move in with the other it probably won't last no matter how hard you try.
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