Death Clock -when are you buried?

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Post by Specially Cork » Wed Feb 18, 2004 5:34 pm

There is a better death clock somewhere. Asks you a hell of a lot more questions for a start.
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Post by XXXNINTENDOGURLXXX » Wed Feb 18, 2004 5:47 pm

Saturday, July 13, 2086
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Post by SuperMegatron » Wed Feb 18, 2004 7:03 pm

Sunday, August 10, 2042
I die at 65 Smoking must kill you off faster
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Post by butters » Wed Feb 18, 2004 10:31 pm

SuperMegatron wrote:I die at 65 Smoking must kill you off faster
You lose an hour of your life for every cigarette you smoke. Think about that one before you light your next cigarette.
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Post by SuperMegatron » Wed Feb 18, 2004 10:50 pm

im smoke 60 cigarettes a day and I have been smoking for 10 years 60 x365=21,900 x10= 219000/24= 9125 days/365 =25 years of my life gone
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Post by WhtCastle » Thu Feb 19, 2004 4:11 am

Not soon enough.
/WhtCastle
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Post by az_bont » Thu Feb 19, 2004 5:19 am

I thought it was only 2 or 3 minutes per cigarette?
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Post by Nyarlathotep » Thu Feb 19, 2004 6:55 am

butters wrote: You lose an hour of your life for every cigarette you smoke. Think about that one before you light your next cigarette.
Its five minutes.

They also happen to be the five minutes at the end of your life when you're in a home with a tube up your cock helping you pee, all your friends are dead and you need a nurse to wipe your arse for you.

I'll take the cigarettes thanks.
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Post by az_bont » Thu Feb 19, 2004 7:07 am

If you didn't smoke, then you're a lot less likely to be at home with a tube up your cock - and unless all your friends are older than you or are also smokers, they won't be dead. And if you times that by the number you smoke each day you step into years rather than minutes.

And of course, that five minutes is assuming you don't get cancer, which you've got a one in three chance of getting.

I'd much rather retain a healthy set of lungs as well as the ability to exercise properly, plus a longer life expectancy thanks.
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Post by Skynet » Thu Feb 19, 2004 7:20 am

I think I'll stay away from smoking too, for the reasons mentioned by az.

Also I wouldn't because of my asthma :evil: My lungs are fooked enough as it is, I don't need to screw 'em up more!
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Post by Nyarlathotep » Thu Feb 19, 2004 1:12 pm

az_bont wrote:If you didn't smoke, then you're a lot less likely to be at home with a tube up your cock-a-doodle-doo
Smoking doesn't cause renal failure - old age DOES however.

Fact is, even doing 'everything right' with your body for your entire life - you ARE going to die, and chances are it won't be peacefully at home in your sleep but in a hospital hooked up to varying amounts of machinery keeping your fairly squalid existence going.
In other words not eating red meat, not doing drugs, not drinking to excess, not sleeping around, going to bed early at night etc etc etc might well let you live longer - but it sure as hell is going to FEEL longer. :P

Hope I die before I get old. 8-)
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Post by az_bont » Thu Feb 19, 2004 1:27 pm

I'm gonna love being old. You can make people give up their seats for you on the bus or wherever. People will open doors for you because you look all miserable and pathetic. Returning stuff is never a problem because every old person has an honest face, and you can annoy people by pretending to be deaf :P.
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Post by Prophet][ » Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:07 pm

old people at work piss me off. I work at the cities biggest football ground and I have to ask people to show me their concession cards. When I usally ask old people I get "DON'T I LOOK OLD ENOUGH?" or my favourite "How can you see I'm using a concession ticket with those dark sunglasses" then I have to spend the next 2minutes explaining just cos your old doesn't mean your a concession card holder and that I have to ask every person who uses a concession priced ticket.

Oh the best is when they say they didn't use a concession ticket to get in but refuse to give me a close inspection of their ticket. I guess they still haven't worked out it tells me on my little screen what type of ticket they used.
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Post by Skynet » Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:26 pm

Don't let certain people see that post, Prophet][. I was told in null not to disrespect old people. If you don't believe me check out the Old people and UHT milk thread. :lol:
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Post by ninja » Thu Feb 19, 2004 10:34 pm

Death clock sayeth i wont die till 2075, that would make me 93. Damn, i dont wanna live that long, when i get to around 60 i swear im gonna have a shotgun by my bed rigged up to some switch, that way when i can no longer do things on my own, i can end it ;)
Delete my posting account.

Thanks.
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Post by az_bont » Fri Feb 20, 2004 9:51 am

Why does everyone seem to assume that past 60 you become incapable of moving, eating, breathing and shitting without a highly-trained team of nurses controlling your every move with little strings like a wooden Pinochio puppet?
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Post by Hawq » Fri Feb 20, 2004 12:50 pm

az_bont wrote:Why does everyone seem to assume that past 60 you become incapable of moving, eating, breathing and poop without a highly-trained team of nurses controlling your every move with little strings like a wooden Pinochio puppet?
If they're hot nurses then I'll play the invalid :twisted:
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Post by Nyarlathotep » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:17 pm

az_bont wrote:Why does everyone seem to assume that past 60 you become incapable of moving, eating, breathing and poop without a highly-trained team of nurses controlling your every move with little strings like a wooden Pinochio puppet?
Spoken like someone who's never actually been to an old peoples home...
They are perhaps the most depressing places on earth.
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Post by 404NotFound » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:25 pm

Dr Wily wrote:
az_bont wrote:Why does everyone seem to assume that past 60 you become incapable of moving, eating, breathing and poop without a highly-trained team of nurses controlling your every move with little strings like a wooden Pinochio puppet?
Spoken like someone who's never actually been to an old peoples home...
They are perhaps the most depressing places on earth.
My grandmother is in her late 70s or early 80s i think and still works, drives herself, lives by herself...


(heh, almost accidently edited nyar's post... woops worng button)
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Post by az_bont » Fri Feb 20, 2004 2:34 pm

Dr Wily wrote:
az_bont wrote:Why does everyone seem to assume that past 60 you become incapable of moving, eating, breathing and poop without a highly-trained team of nurses controlling your every move with little strings like a wooden Pinochio puppet?
Spoken like someone who's never actually been to an old peoples home...
They are perhaps the most depressing places on earth.
Not everyone gets to 60 and moves into an old people's home. If you're a non-smoker who doesn't drink excessively and are in relatively good physical condition, you should have many, many more years of good living well after your 60th, 70th or even 80th birthday.
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