An open apology and admission of guilt

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MetaFox
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An open apology and admission of guilt

Post by MetaFox » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:06 pm

APE was right. I am like Reaper. I lied about getting the magazines done and shipping them. That never happened. This is tearing me apart inside, and I felt I had to come clean.

The truth is, life came crumbling in towards me and I spent the money. My grandfather was suffering from alzeigmer's, my mother couldn't hold the fort on her own - so I quit my job and moved in to watch over my grandparents full time. My grandfather died shortly thereafter, and my grandmother went into a state where she was acting out the symptoms of alzeigmer's (she was diagnosed bipolar), and it was tough on us all. In the meantime, I had to have tendon surgery after a shard of glass split my tendons in my hand in half.

I had to spend the money, so I panicked, and tried to think of a way to extend the time limit for the shipping of the magazine. So, I came up with the shipping lie to buy me time.

I was wrong in doing so, and I appologize. I really didn't intend in scamming anyone, I just needed money quick and panicked.

I shouldn't have lied for as long as I did, and I should have come clean sooner.

The invoice I posted is real, it's just from a few days ago rather than months ago. I am going to refund everyone, and I am going to send out a printed magazine for free.

I love this community, and I appologize for doing what I did to it. I'm going to leave my comments in the thread where Boneycork and Xylene caught me as well as my previous comments unedited, so you can see just what kind of a douchebag my panicking had made me.

There's one thing that I had always said about Reaper - if he had come clean and appologized to everyone for what he did, I would have forgiven him. I hope you all can do the same for me.
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Post by bizzle » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:19 pm

Wow. I was hoping this wouldn't happen.. but uh, thanks for finally coming clean.
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Post by APE » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:29 pm

Reaper never did come clean, his last example proves he never will and probably finds his antics perfectly acceptable. Takes a big man to admit when hes wrong. (no pun intended)
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Post by Specially Cork » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:38 pm

While I may have joked about it and flamed you in earlier posts, I never once thought you were a scammer, and that was part of the reason why I made some of my later comments. Even though I never paid for the magazine, something just didnt add up. I was sure you hadn't planned to cheat people, but your posts were getting less and less reliable.

So I'm sorry if it seemed like I was sticking my nose into business that didn't concern me, but I just wanted to get to the truth.

Anyway, thanks for coming clean and apology accepted.
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Post by not just souLLy now » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:51 pm

Well I'd sort of figured as much anyway, I doubt you went out to screw people over. Not saying it's not lame, but we all fudge up sometimes.

My offer to help you on the artwork for the next one still stands. If people are nice enough to forgive you, then you best make ammends as soon as you can, send me some stuff and we'll get it sorted.
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Post by butters » Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:04 pm

Dude, you could have just told the truth from the start and people would have understood. Everyone goes through hard times like that. I guarantee if you'd told the truth from the start people would have said to forget the magazine and focus on what's important.

edit: Wow I've typed dude 5 times in the last 2 weeks....
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Post by |darc| » Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:59 pm

Well, this really doesn't have much to do with me, but you really need to apologize to the people you acted like a dick to in the Feedback thread. Some people saw right through you, and you responded offensively, appealing to emotions ("I've been upfront and honest," "Maybe you can tell me how that is treating the customers unfairly, as I honestly don't see how I can be more fair than I already have been through this whole ordeal").

I don't have any ill thoughts toward you, but this whole ordeal does show that fuck-ups (and this is a really dishonest fuck-up) can still be people of good character. Hopefully you can clean yourself of this whole thing. I've fucked up too many times in this scene and even though most people are friendly towards me, I've always felt shameful and that people dislike me behind my back, and ultimately I still don't think everyone has put the problems I've caused behind them.

Then again, I think EVERYONE dislikes me behind my back--I really have sickeningly poor self-esteem socially.
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Post by mankrip » Fri Sep 22, 2006 9:25 pm

Well, I don't have much to say here, except:

MetaFox - I feel sorry for you.

Darc - I know how you feel, I felt myself exactly like that for years. I only overcame it some months ago. Yes, I am being fucking serious.
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Post by emptythought » Fri Sep 22, 2006 9:49 pm

I don't think I can forgive or trust you. On Xelium you said that I betrayed you and backstabbed you for posting something you didn't want posted but in reality you were the one betraying everyone else trying to cover up things when there was obviously something in the middle.

I don't want my money back because 1) I don't think my Paypal account is working right and 2) you probably needed it more then me.

I just want my magazine and be done with it.
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Post by OneThirty8 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 10:39 pm

I tried to stay out of the whole thing because I didn't order the magazine, but that is way beyond fucked up. I understand the reasons you state for not following through with the magazine, but pretending to have shipped it and everything? How could you not expect it to blow up in your face? I know you never intended to defraud people, and I know that you're not a horrible person, but the times when it seems like everything is going wrong in your life are the times when you need to stop, take a few deep breaths, and think through every important decision and ask yourself if the outcome of a particular action is likely to be positive. The things going on with your grandparents were beyond your control. The need for surgery was beyond your control. What you could have and should have controlled was they lying (and probably the part where you spent the money if it wasn't yours to spend). I'm not saying this because I'm angry with you or because I think you need to be scolded like a child. I'm saying it because I'm far from perfect and I've fucked up plenty of times in my life as well, and the things that have caused me the most harm are the things I've done to myself, and sometimes I've really just needed my friends to point at me and say, "you fucked up. Don't do it again, because you're hurting yourself."
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Post by melancholy » Fri Sep 22, 2006 11:38 pm

I have so little trust in you at this point that I cannot even believe the story you just told. This really sucks to say since I considered you a friend, but the truth is, regardless of if people gave you money or not, you failed every single person on this site and hurt the community even more. If people cannot even trust a representative of this site, how is any future project going to take off? How will they combat the fear of future propositions being another 'Metafox fiasco'? This was a huge chance to prove that there is still tons of life in the community. But instead, you may have killed it more.
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Post by kingbuzzo » Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:21 am

Now we know what happened to the magazines, or lack there of.
I can say I'm not very impressed and it is my wish, along with others that you no longer have anything to do with DCS or any of its actions.

Now I think we need an answer for what happened to both the melty blood and senko no ronde petitions that people around the world sent to you so they could have their impact on the publishers.

I only hope that the glimmer of hope we see in your coming clean is one we can look forward to.

good luck.
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Post by Prophet][ » Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:45 am

:cartman: son. of. a. bitch.

You really should have come clean in the first place. I order 2 and paid extra because I thought it was going to a good cause and good way to support the scene. I am so pissed off now.
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Post by MetaFox » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:05 am

I have betrayed so many people, and I know I can never be forgiven. I'm going to give up my position at every site that I work for. I don't deserve it at all.

I'll try my best to do the right thing by you guys, but I don't deserve your respect. I really have proven myself to be a jackass. And, darc and fackue are right - I've said some hurtful things to people to cover up my lies - and that was just fucked up.
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Post by mankrip » Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:21 am

When I was a kid, I used to break glasses and other things by accident when I went to the kitchen. And every time it happened I got so scared of being beaten for it that I always hid or threw in the trash the things I had broken. One day, my mom found one of those broken things I had hidden, and she told me to never hide it again when I break something, because if I hide it she would not know that there is something that needs to be fixed or replaced. And fixing the problems is more important than worrying about the losses.

As you may have already noticed Meta, spending the money from the magazines is an insignificant problem when compared to betraying and ruining everyone's trust on you. I don't think you're evil, but your actions showed an amazing level of immaturity. You worked on too many things at once, and you refused to realize you wouldn't be able to finish all of them, even when it was clear that some of them are inevitably impossible to finish, and despite all your real life problems.

And as others have said, the lost of trust on you also affected other projects. To be honest, for about a month I was thinking about not entering in the current Dream On contest, because I don't think you can handle it well with all these problems happening, including the problems in the last contest. Also, I was never able to fully believe what you said about it to me in the Dreamzone private boards.



Finally, I have unstickied the Dreamcast Shareware via Dream On Magazine announcement, as right now it seems there's not much point in keeping it there.
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Post by bizzle » Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:29 am

I still don't understand why the phone numbers on the invoices are not correct. One number connects you to a supermarket's telephone and the other is not in service.

Edit: Apparently if I call those numbers from my cellphone they go to the right place, other wise they call a super market, so I take that back.
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Post by Delin hong » Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:58 pm

This is really fucked up. I kept faith in you and defended you here and on many other forums> :oops:
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Post by Gamegeezer » Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:16 pm

I'm glad you came clean Metafox. I was hoping you would. Returning the stolen money is the right thing to do. I hope the people in the scene aren't too harsh on you for too long. You deserve it for a while but if you can take it you will be alright.

I think you learned how hard it is to live with the guilt of deceiving people. Unfortunately you also learned how gullable people can be as well. There are a lot of people and organizations that take advantage of this same gullability to feed their wealth and organizations.

By nature I think people like to give and help. I makes them feel good and helps someone else. But they don't like to be duped.
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Post by SinisterTengu » Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:29 pm

I totally forgot about this magazine, so imagine my surprise when I see a $9 payment from paypal in my inbox. I was confused because I've never sold anything or received money through paypal before, only sent it. Anyways, thanks for the money back, though if you would have kept it I never would have known. :P If you do actually send the mag out, I'd have no problem sending the money right back to you. ;)
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Post by Adam3k3 » Sat Sep 23, 2006 4:22 pm

I was about to put an order and this happened. I think he deserve a second chance as it take a lot of nerves coming here and saying all that, let alone return every ones money. Glad you told us, the truth shell set you free.
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