I am a bum

Prophet][ · Post by **Prophet][** » Fri May 18, 2007 7:24 am

I realized today that I am a lazy no good bum who is scared of working. I've had my fair share of jobs but these have been non-stressful fairly easy jobs like sorting mail, directing people to their seats at the football etc.

At the moment I am in my final year of Electrical Engineering Honors and work for BAE Systems when I can find the time to make it in. They don't care at the moment when I show up cos as far as they are concerned they don't need me until I finish uni but engineers are so much in demand they get you early. Today I got a contract to sign which says I will start work full time next year on the condition I will get my degree this year, its nice pay and a great place to work. (Although they screwed me for my thesis but thats another story)

I can't help but think I'm too lazy for this sort of work, I hate challenges and I get worried easily. I think sometimes I purposely choose not to show up cos I can't be assed working even though I could use the money. I hate it when I get work I don't understand and feel like an idiot asking for help from the other engineers. Some guys are great but the project I work on is behind schedule so a lot of people don't have time for me.

Pretty much I can't help that think my drive to be the best has gone as has my motivation for life. In HS I always wanted to be someone but now I would be quite happy just being normal. My life has changed so much in the last 6 months that I don't know what I want anymore. I thought these changes were for the best but now I'm not sure.

I just wanted to vent my frustration.

Vlad Tepes · Post by **Vlad Tepes** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:14 am

I know how you feel. I'm sorta in the same boat, only...the exact opposite, if that makes any sense. I thrive on challenge, but currently I'm in a situation where I'm bored out of my mind, since my job is relatively easy. I have virtually no motivation to do the work I do, even though it's fairly easy, and that makes me feel like a bum. The reason I'm not out looking for other opportunities is because my current situation allows me to get a free MBA, which should be finished in a little over a year.

I got my BS in computer science, and after five years working in the field, I woke up one day and decided...I don't even like computers anymore. So now my motivation is finding something I DO enjoy. I've had to come to the realization that for me to do what I want to do, I'll need to endure my current situation to aquire the credentials to be able to succeed in an area I really feel I will enjoy. Since I've come to that realization, I've been able to see my current situation as a stepping stone for me to get to the place I really want to be.

A lot of people feel the same thing you're feeling. Try not to get discouraged. Sometimes a simple paradigm shift can make all the difference.

mariobro · Post by **mariobro** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:01 am

I hear ya... but how can you say you're a bum, if you're finishing your education?

It's anxiety, I know. I've been there. Maybe it's all those changes you mentioned. They might make you feel life's unstable, and you never know when the shit's gonna hit the fan. You're just looking for some semblance of normalcy, and that's perfectly OK.

Don't worry too much. Some overachievers get burned out pretty quick, and they crack when they find out thay have no life, apart from their job. It's better to deal with these issues now that you're young, than buying a Porsche to cure a middle-age crisis.

At leeast, that's my two cents.

Veggita2099 · Post by **Veggita2099** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:12 am

I hate working full time. I mean really it seems like either you have no money and all the time in the world, or plenty of money and no time to enjoy it. I would really like to just work about 30 hours a week with 3 days off. If I get approved for FMLA I might just do that.

DaMadFiddler · Post by **DaMadFiddler** » Fri May 18, 2007 11:35 am

You get over it once you're actually in the reality of the situation. It's getting there without backing out that's difficult. And be prepared: You will go through cycles in your job...times you're bored with it, times you're happy with it, and times you don't feel it's worth it and you want to quit and find something in an unrelated field. It's the reality of work.

Let me tell you from experience, though: do NOT let yourself back out before you get there. If you do, it sets up a psychological condition that makes it easier and easier to avoid responsibility, and harder and harder to accept it. Once you actually get into the job, and get past the awkward "new at this" stage, things will be much better.

I've held five "real" jobs in my life. The first was as a live-in music coach at a summer arts program. I was 17, and found myself living with (and responsible for) a horde of ten-to-fourteen-year-olds; it was a little overwhelming at first.

My third job was working for an environmental and social activist organization. We had to go door to door giving out information and asking for donations, and we met with state and federal lawmakers frequently to help write bills. I was hired as a manager at my office, so in addition to that, I was in charge of a team of canvassers...training them, keeping track of their performance, tallying and handling their money and their petition signatures, processing bank deposits, and planning routes and campaigns.

My fourth job was at a real estate office. Because I "knew computers," I was hired to design and print and distribute all of my boss' advertising materials, maintain all of her office equipment, and handle her budget and bookkeeping...in addition to helping process contracts and listings. Again, stuff I've had no training in besides my own limited dabbling, which has serious implications--financial, legal, and otherwise--for the people around me, and which I had to dive into and be effective, efficient, and comprehensive as quickly as possible.

My fifth job, where I currently am, is even moreso. I'm the assistant to the Director of Curriculum & Assessment in a school district office. I am responsible for overseeing and maintaining a $5 million budget, approving and coordinating all textbook and instructional materials purchases for the schools in this area, assisting in coordinating all the standardized tests for the district, helping to run and maintain records for all our faculty training, keeping all our documentation in order for the state auditor, getting new programs adopted by the school board, handling all the secretarial needs of my department, and anything else my boss may throw my way. I have no training or background, the district (like most things in public education) is severely understaffed so I need to dive into work ASAP and reach competency very quickly with little to no training, and if I screw something up, can create problems for teachers, for the district, for the state, for our budget, for our schools' ability to provide materials to our students, and--as a result of these things--ultimately, for our kids.

Did I know what I was doing when I first started these jobs? No. Was I afraid I was going to miss something important, or inadvertantly do something horrible? Yes. But I worked through it, and sought advice when I needed it. I talked to people when I wasn't sure of something, I was meticulous You only gain competence at something through experience. In each case, I rose quickly, became highly skilled at my job, and earned the respect of my bosses and coworkers.

You only gain competency in something by doing it, and if you don't let yourself try, you stand no chance of succeeding.

What I didn't mention was my second job. Why? It was a summer job at AMC Theaters. I prepared and sold food, cleaned theaters, and took tickets. I knew exactly how to do everything going in, and--unlike anywhere else I've worked--was at all times fully confident in my ability to perform my job duties, and do them well.

It was also the only job I've ever held that I truly hated. It was okay at first, because it was easy and I didn't have to worry about not knowing what I was doing. But after just a couple of days, I started growing extremely bored with my work. There was no interest, no challenge, and it wasn't helping me develop any ideas or skills.

...I know I've been on a bit of a rant, but take my advice for what it's worth. You're not a bum, because you're actively working toward your goal. But I've been in that frame of mind, I know how tempting it is to take the easy path, and how scary it is that you might succumb to that temptation. Believe me. It will be intimidating and uncomfortable at first, but after a couple months, you will be very glad you stuck with it, and didn't opt for the easier path.

Luriden · Post by **Luriden** » Fri May 18, 2007 12:08 pm

I can relate. I prefer being able to work by myself. When you're working with a couple hundred people a day, shit happens, and it makes it kind of scary going to work not knowing what to expect once you get there.

hearld500 · Post by **hearld500** » Fri May 18, 2007 1:14 pm

When the money starts coming in, bet you change your mind.

mrandyk · Post by **mrandyk** » Fri May 18, 2007 9:53 pm

I really want to get a job, thank god I'm still young and not paying bills yet.

Jeeba Jabba · Post by **Jeeba Jabba** » Sat May 19, 2007 2:39 am

I do not like bills.

Prophet][ · Post by **Prophet][** » Sat May 19, 2007 9:43 pm

Thanks guys, your input was insightful

SuperMegatron · Post by **SuperMegatron** » Sun May 20, 2007 8:26 am

Veggita2099 wrote:I hate working full time. I mean really it seems like either you have no money and all the time in the world, or plenty of money and no time to enjoy it. I would really like to just work about 30 hours a week with 3 days off. If I get approved for FMLA I might just do that.

Are you on the WV border? You can take the WV civil service exam for any state job if you are. You wont get shit for pay at first but you get 12 paid holidays,15 vacation days,18 sick days and a nice pension.

gRiMgRaVy014 · Post by **gRiMgRaVy014** » Sun May 20, 2007 7:27 pm

mrandyk wrote:I really want to get a job, thank god I'm still young and not paying bills yet.

I just want an easy summer job, so I can have some spending money for a change.